Between the Earth and Sky
by Kira Douji
Summary: HIATIS If you never take the last step, you will spend the rest of your life wondering if you would have fallen. Kuchiki Byakuya x Abarai Renji.
1. Elusive

**Title:** Elusive

**Rating:** MPAA: PG, Fiction Rating: K+  
**Pairing/Character/s:** Renji + Byakuya

**Disclaimer:** The author holds no license of nor makes claims to any of the characters, concepts, or story the above originated from in any way. The characters are used without permission of the original creator for the sake of entertainment only. No profit is gained from the writing found hereafter, nor any personal credit taken for the character designs, personalities or concepts stemming from the original story used. All situations below, unless otherwise stated, have no bearing on the creator's original work, and are solely the creation of the author based on personal interpretation of the above mentioned works or are parodies exempted from copyright laws. It is the responsibility of the reader to observe all warnings before proceeding to the fiction below, as it may contain any number of situations, themes, ideas, views, or lifestyles not suitable for those under the age of 18 or which may be contrary or offensive to the beliefs of some. In the event that the following is the author's original work, or contains an original character, the author holds the copy write and should be contacted before either is used or distributed in any way. All questions and comments concerning the written work or otherwise can be made directly to the author.

**Warning/s:** Spoilers for the Bleach manga from chapter 140 on, the Bleach anime episode 51 and up.

**Word Count: **972  
**Summary:** No one can ever say Renji hasn't worked hard for everything he's achieved, but hard work has its price... a price his captain is not particularly fond of.  
**Author's Note:** Written to abate the wall of writer's block, and it turned into its own story.

**Thank you to all of my readers and commentors who have enjoyed this story over the years! When I first began writing this story, I certainly had the full intent to continue on with the manga - however things change**.

**If you are returning to this story after so long, you may have noticed this message has changed.**

**That is because I have re-read the manga and am fully up to date. Most importantly, I am no longer frustrated with the character and plot development. In tears, yes, but not frustrated ones. **

**That having been said, I still have no plan on continuing this story. Since reviewing all that has happened, I have considered different aspects of their relationship that I'd like to delve into and thus have decided to write new pieces without this as a basis.**

**Again, thank you for your reviews and favorites - it has really meant a lot to continue to see them over the years. If you want to keep up, I post most everything to my personal Tumblr account, w3djyt under the tag "fic" or "bleach". I will also be posting here and probably to Ao3 as well. **

**Elusive**

"_Turbulence is life force. It is opportunity. Let's love turbulence and use it for change."_

_-Ramsay Clark_

Renji cracked open a tired eye, catching glimpses of an empty, plain, white room before a large, angry hammer slammed him quite firmly between his eyes. Well, not really, but it fucking felt like it. He groaned and closed his eye again, too busy cursing at his throbbing, rebelling head to care that he didn't recognize the room he was in, or that the rest of his body didn't feel much better. What a disturbingly familiar _heavy_ feeling. Like his body wouldn't or _couldn't_ move no matter how much it had damn well _better_. Echoes of wounds he knew weren't really there faded in and out of his mind, reminding him of another time he'd felt like this. When he had lost so completely that his body was nothing but an agonized heap of jagged nerves and blood and flesh.

"How long are you planning on staying conscience this time?" An unbearably calm and infinitely familiar voice asked him.

Great. Just what he fucking _needed_. "Well, don't think I can go back to sleep with my head pounding like it's being fucking nailed to a wall," he offered crossly.

"And why, exactly, is it doing that, fukutaichou?" Kuchiki Byakuya inquired in his usual neutral, but slightly disapproving tone of voice. The use of Renji's title was an obvious slight towards the vice captain's previous activities not being very becoming of his position. Renji, of course, begged to differ. Not that he ever begged, but he did tend to differ a lot with his captain.

"You know damn well _why_," Renji growled out, not in the mood to argue with Kuchiki Byakuya of all people, but even less inclined to give him the satisfaction of the answer he was waiting for.

"Renji," Byakuya warned, letting a sliver of annoyance penetrate his voice. "That was unbelievably dangerous-"

"Nothing happened, I'll be fine-"

"I told you it wasn't battle ready-"

"And how do you expect it to ever be battle ready if I don't train?" Renji snapped, opening his eyes now so he could find and glare at his captain.

The shinigami in question stood a few feet away from Renji, arms crossed and almost glowering down at his subordinate, but not quite. Glowering counted as one of the plethora of emotions not allowed to grace his visage unless extreme circumstances dictated otherwise... or so Renji had since decided. And then, quite unexpectedly, the stoic man sighed. "That is why we train for ten years. I thought you would have figured that out by now."

Renji gave a brash grin in retort, "Well, I don't have ten years, Taichou."

Byakuya's eyebrows rose at that, but only just barely. "And why is that?"

"Storm's comin'," Renji answered nonchalantly, shrugging his shoulders a bit as he glanced back up at the ceiling. The look his captain was giving him was rather disconcerting. It made him itch to get up and move, to pace, to fight, to do _something_ aside from laying there and letting the man stare at him like that.

An awkward silence hung between them until Renji felt the mattress sink a bit and he automatically looked over to find his captain sitting on the edge of his bed. Finding no more adequate a response, Renji merely blinked at the noble.

"Can you sit up?" Byakuya queried as if it were completely normal for him to be sitting on his lieutenant's sick bed like he cared one wit about the man's recovery.

Renji nevertheless took it as more of an order than a question and began the brutal process of forcing his screaming muscles to push him into a sitting position. The struggle took longer than he would have liked, but he was eventually sitting upright, leaning back against the headboard and wall. Admittedly, he was still tired and sore from all that his training had drained out of him, but he wasn't about to let that show as he looked back over to meet Byakuya's gaze.

Byakuya nodded approvingly and bent over the side of the bed, rising once more with a tray carefully balanced between his hands which he promptly placed over Renji's lap. The legs of the wooden tray stabilized it over Renji's legs, and allowed for the cups set on it to remain upright. Without anything in the way of explanation, the noble carefully lifted a piping hot kettle and gracefully poured two cups of tea. Renji sat entranced by the quiet movements, equal parts uncertain and curious. Thankfully, he had enough of his brain functioning to take the cup passed to him and sip at the contents. They stayed like that for a while, neither saying anything while they shared the tea, refilling when necessary, occasionally looking out the open window, letting the gentle breeze enter the room and keep it fresh with the scent of the fading day.

"You have the day off tomorrow," Byakuya observed quietly.

Renji blinked as if coming out of a trance. "Ah.. yeah, I do," he answered lamely, looking over his tea at his captain.

"I do not suppose I can count on you to rest through it," the elder drawled, his tone in stark contrast with the intensity of his gaze.

"Never." Renji grinned defiantly in reply.

Byakuya sipped the last of his tea and set the cup on the tray again. "Perhaps I will take tomorrow off as well."

"... Taichou?"

"I expect you to be well rested by the morning, of course."

Renji tried quite rapidly to catch up with what was going on. "Well rested... for what?"

His captain merely rose from the spot he'd claimed for most of the afternoon and bent down to retrieve the tray previously placed over Renji's lap. "When reaching for the moon, one should always have someone there to catch them if they fall."


	2. Ban Kai

**Title:** Ban Kai  
**Rating:** MPAA: PG-13, Fiction Rating: T  
**Pairing/Character/s:** Renji + Byakuya  
**Disclaimer:** The author holds no license of nor makes claims to any of the characters, concepts, or story the above originated from in any way. The characters are used without permission of the original creator for the sake of entertainment only. No profit is gained from the writing found hereafter, nor any personal credit taken for the character designs, personalities or concepts stemming from the original story used. All situations below, unless otherwise stated, have no bearing on the creator's original work, and are solely the creation of the author based on personal interpretation of the above mentioned works or are parodies exempted from copyright laws. It is the responsibility of the reader to observe all warnings before proceeding to the fiction below, as it may contain any number of situations, themes, ideas, views, or lifestyles not suitable for those under the age of 18 or which may be contrary or offensive to the beliefs of some. In the event that the following is the author's original work, or contains an original character, the author holds the copy write and should be contacted before either is used or distributed in any way. All questions and comments concerning the written work or otherwise can be made directly to the author.  
**Warning/s:** Spoilers for the Bleach manga from chapter 140 on, the Bleach anime episode 51 and up.  
**Word Count: **5,725  
**Summary:** Sequal to the drabble "Elusive", in which Renji runs for his life, Byakuya is surprized and we all learn a thing or two about stir fry and long hair.  
**Author's Note:** This was seriously fun to write XD

**Ban Kai**  
"_Happiness depends upon ourselves."  
-Aristotle_

The relationship between the captain of the sixth division and his lieutenant had changed. It wasn't a huge change, nor was it outspoken, but it was still there. However, in the hectic post-battle reconstruction that gripped the Court of Pure Souls the change hardly seemed anything worth mentioning. Everyone was banding together on some level, whether that be because they honestly wanted to help, or because their captain had threatened bloody murder if they didn't, it was still there and so were they, day after day rebuilding what had taken only a few chaotic days to destroy. Not to mention that in order to notice what had changed, one had to have noticed what was there before.

In short, little facets of each man seemed to have altered in each other's presence.

The court's newest vice-captain, Abarai Renji, didn't quite act like the newest addition anymore. He was dashing around from one place to another, but far from chaotically. Contrary to previous uncertain errands of only a few short weeks ago, he could tell you exactly where he was going and why if asked. If you could catch up to him, of course. The only people who noticed exactly how quickly Renji was accomplishing all his tasks, though, were the friends that watched him collapse on a well placed floor cushion at their end of the day get-togethers. There was always a half-hearted joke about how his captain had finally whipped him, to which Renji usually replied with a fiercely thrown pillow and any number of rude comments. Nevertheless, there was no denying that Abarai Renji was finally applying his dogged determination to his duties as vice-captain. As for the why, well, that was anyone's guess.

The captain of the sixth division, on the other hand, didn't seem to notice or care about this change in attitude. Except that the other captains had noticed a few peculiar things about the work assignments. Every day, Kuchiki would somehow manage to acquire all of the most spread out errands, no matter how inane or small they were. And everyday, Renji would be dashing from one end of the Court of Pure Souls to the other as fast as he could run. Most didn't think much of it and went about their own work. And while it certainly couldn't be said that Zaraki Kenpachi was either caring or particularly interested in things other than battle, he could tell a training regimen for what it was, and so had taken to occasionally chasing down his former squad member with a rather malicious grin. Perhaps he was as sadistic as people said… it certainly was fun to see Renji's expression when he noticed the eleventh division captain chasing him down with a downright evil gleam in his eye.

However, the strangest thing by far, in the mind of one Ukitake Jyuushirou, was that he was now being contested for the most days off by the last captain he would expect to take any sort of vacation. The man hadn't even taken more than the weekend off when his wife died and he hadn't even been a captain then! Although, Ukitake suspected that had more to do with burying oneself in work than anything else. Still, it was strange; strange enough that he had started setting aside a few extra moments here and there observing his fellow captain. He wasn't immediately sure what he was looking for: perhaps some symptoms of illness (not that Kuchiki would ever let that show) or even a sign of mourning. Given what had happened, it wasn't at all far fetched to think that the noble had finally let himself mourn the death of his wife. But neither of these possibilities appeared to be the answer as the man seemed neither hurt in anyway nor emotionally disturbed.

That wasn't quite right: there was a definite change, it just wasn't… bad. To put it simply, Ukitake now found himself baffled by the enigma that was Kuchiki Byakuya. He had even taken the initiative to have lunch with Rukia a few times a week, gently inquiring about her health and the general stability of the Kuchiki household. Never been better, apparently. However, Ukitake Jyuushirou was not a nosy man. If they had all managed to find some manner of peace, so be it: he, at least, would not question it. Besides, working with a sixth squad captain who didn't bring a cloud of tension with him everywhere he went and didn't glare quite so often was much preferable to the alternative.

-----

"- THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!" Renji screeched behind him at maniacally grinning eleventh squad captain.

Yachiru waved at him happily. "Ken-chan wants to play and Renji-kun looked like he was having fun!" she chirped.

"I'M NOT HAVING FUN! I'M RUNNING ERRANDS! GET AWAY!" Renji sped up.

Zaraki grinned, "You'll have to run faster than that."

"Renji doesn't want to get caught," Yachiru cheerily informed him.

Getting caught by the bloodthirsty captain was right up there on the list of things Abarai Renji most definitely did _not_ want to happen. "STOP CHASING ME!" he wailed, forcing already tired muscles to go just a little bit faster.

"Not a chance," Zaraki smiled the scariest, most disturbing smile Renji had ever seen. For a moment, he thought he'd caught sight of fangs. Renji swallowed, turned forward again and desperately tried to master shunpo in five seconds.

"My, my, is that Abarai-kun?" Kyouraku inquired, lifting his hat a bit so he could watch the mad dash across the rooftops.

Ukitake glanced up, "He's gotten faster. Out on another errand?" He glanced over at the other captain walking alongside them.

"Division Four required extra supplies to be brought in from Rukongai in order to replenish their reserves," Kuchiki blandly informed his companions.

Kyouraku nudged his hat back down. "Che, what'd Abarai-kun do to get _that_ job?"

An imperial black eyebrow rose minutely. "He asked for it," Byakuya answered simply, and then added, "Renji already completed all of his work this morning, it would be wasteful not to assign him the jobs that need to be finished."

"Reasonable as always." Ukitake smiled gently. "Would you like to join us for lunch again tomorrow, Kuchiki-san?" he offered, delicately mixing propriety and familiarity in his wording to keep the other captain at ease.

"I must decline," Byakuya answered smoothly, "as I will be taking my day off elsewhere."

"Another one?" Ukitake queried softly and glanced at his companion.

"That's quite a few lately, isn't it?" Kyouraku remarked casually. Kuchiki frowned minutely, but said nothing.

More out of worry than any kind of curiosity, Ukitake finally asked, "… Is everything all right?"

"I appreciate your concern, Ukitake-taichou, but your worry is unfounded." _It's none of your business, so don't ask._

"Ah…" Ukitake managed, knowing he'd crossed a line, but seeing no way to back up.

"Nah, he's probably just using it to do extra work while we're not looking," Kyouraku interrupted in his usual, slow manner. "How else could he stay on top of all that paperwork? I'm sure Nanao-chan would love to know the secret."

Ukitake gave Kyouraku a brief, thankful smile. It certainly hadn't been his intention to ruffle any feathers. "She'd only want to know because you leave her so much work," he teased lightly.

Kyouraku just shrugged, glancing askance at the third party present. Kuchiki's visage hadn't changed since the beginning of the conversation. He sighed and continued talking since his companion refused.

-----

Renji was grinning like a maniac and he new it. He was exhausted; his muscles were sore and would certainly be staying that way for a few days, his spirit energy felt abysmally low and he was sliced open in more places than he dared to count, but he just couldn't stop grinning. Adrenaline was still rushing through his veins, keeping him standing but doing little else. Dust was still settling around him and he couldn't help inhaling it in gasps as he wheezed and coughed it back out, trying to catch his breath. All and all, he was in pretty bad shape, and he knew it.

But he'd be damned if he let that ruin the thrill of seeing the look on his captain's face when he'd landed the strike.

Never mind that he had five or six swords sticking out of him when he actually managed it. Never mind that his hair was sticking to him because of blood and not just sweat. Never mind that he couldn't hold his sword anymore, and Hihiou Zabimaru was slowly dissipating around him. Because for one moment Kuchiki Byakuya had been completely shocked, had been forced to react instinctively to an attack he had made. And for that, he could only grin as he slipped to the ground under his captain's stare.

"Gotcha, taichou…"

-----

Sometime later a rather tired Kuchiki Byakuya appeared outside the Fourth Division's headquarters carrying a rather bloody Abarai Renji. Needless to say, it was quite a sight, and certainly not one anyone in the Fourth Division was expecting to see after things had finally settled down again. Despite this fact, the Sixth Squad's captain strode in without so much as a word and deposited his lieutenant directly, yet carefully on to the nearest bed.

"Abarai-kun! … K-Kuchiki-taichou?" Hanatarou stuttered, hardly believing his eyes. For a moment, he was torn between moving immediately to help the obviously torn up form of the Sixth Division's vice-captain and trying to form words for the blood drenched captain standing calmly in front of him.

"Hanatarou, what are you just standing there for?"

The voice of his own vice-captain snapped back into action and he sprang over to Renji's bedside, already rolling up his sleeves to get to work with a hasty, "H-hai, Kotetsu-san!"

Isane turned her attention to the noble and had to wonder, at least briefly, how someone could look so calm being as drenched in blood as he was. …Or how he even got there for that matter. "Please sit down, so we can tend to your wounds as well."

"Most of the blood is his," he replied curtly. "See to Abarai first."

Not to be daunted, Isane smiled gently and replied, "Hanatarou is capable of healing Abarai-kun on his own, Kuchiki-taichou. Side wounds can be worse than they seem, too, so it would be best if you let us see to you as well." She hoped the short speech was polite enough: dealing with Kuchiki Byakuya when he was half comatose was one thing, trying to treat him while fully conscience was entirely different.

Before she could get an answer, however, there was a short tug on her sleeve that made her turn around… and look right back at Hanatarou. "Anou… Kotetsu-fukutaichou… Can I uh… speak with you?" he asked quietly, glancing once or twice at the captain of the Sixth Division uncertainly.

Well, Kuchiki didn't seem to be going anywhere at the moment… Isane sighed and nodded, following her squad mate a short distance away. "What is it, Hanatarou? You should be helping Abarai-kun."

Hanatarou was wringing his hands, "I stabilized him before I got your attention, but I need to… I think I recognize his wounds."

"… Recognize them?" Isane frowned. While is was normal for members of the Fourth Squad to become familiar with certain wound patterns, the way Hanatarou had pulled her aside made her think it was something more than that.

"That is… I think… It looks like… He looks the same as when I healed him after he fought Kuchiki-taichou to free Rukia-san." Hanatarou finally babbled out.

Eyebrows rose. "You think Kuchiki-taichou did this to him?" Hanatarou shook his head, and then amended himself by nodding. "Well which is it? Yes or no?"

"I think he did but… but you can tell, fukutaichou… those weren't normal fighting wounds and Abarai-kun told me… he said that when he fought Kuchiki-taichou seriously they both fought with their ban kai."

Isane let that process for a minute. _When had Abarai Renji achieved ban kai?_ was the first thing that crossed her mind. This was followed quickly by, _why would Kuchiki Byakuya attack Renji with his ban kai… and then bring him in to be healed_? And lastly, perhaps most disturbing, was the fact that the special war time ordinance for the release of zanpakutou within the Court of Pure Souls had been lifted: making it once more a crime to do so barring extenuating circumstances. "… I'll get Unohana-taichou. Attend to Abarai-kun."

Hanatarou nodded and with one last fretful glance at the captain of the Sixth Division, slid back into place next to Renji's bed, focusing on the surfeit of open wounds that needed to be seen to. With so much damage, he was almost glad the vice-captain had passed out. At the same time, though, it was worrisome because it was most likely due to blood loss and that was a bit harder to fix that just sewing him up.

Byakuya arched an eyebrow at the rest of the shinigami in what served as the emergency room who had collectively stood there since he walked in. A few jumped when they realized some attention was finally put on them and urged their comrades to find work somewhere else and quickly. Satisfied, the noble turned back to watching Hanatarou heal his vice-captain.

It was stupid, really, that he had allowed it to happen in the first place. He'd thought – that is, he had hoped – that the first battle would be enough to convince Renji to slow down. Looking back on it, the idea had been doomed from the beginning. The very thought of Abarai Renji deciding to slow down because of a hurdle was quite simply unfounded. But he'd known that since their first spar. No, he wasn't upset for letting the spars continue on afterwards. It was safest, really, to know exactly how his subordinate was training his ban kai. What really dug under his skin and made itself comfortable was the simple fact that for the slightest moment, he'd lost control. Byakuya almost frowned but caught himself beforehand. Because Renji had surprised him. Because, despite all his ability, the damned man had managed to get past his defense and he'd reacted instinctively.

The reminder of what had happened twanged his side again as if to get his attention. On some level, Byakuya knew that he should have let his wounds be seen to as well, but seeing Renji collapse in a pile of flesh and blood… of feeling his spirit pulse drop tremulously low… It made him remember another time and place when he had turned and walked away. He hadn't seen Renji's recovery then, hadn't paused to see if he would live. There was no guilt for his actions, but now that he could look back on them clearly there was pain and a somewhat begrudging respect for his vice-captain.

"Kuchiki-taichou?" A soft voice inquired.

He pulled his gaze away from Renji and discovered the warming presence of the Fourth Division captain standing quite close to him, her second in command right behind her. "Unohana-taichou," he greeted, inclining his head a bit.

She smiled gently and tilted her head a bit towards the inner door, "Would you join me, please?" Byakuya did frown then, hearing the extra meaning beneath her words and for the first time began to wonder exactly had transpired between the two healers just moments ago. "It will be just a few minutes, and then you can return here if you would like," Unohana added graciously.

The woman really was hard to argue with. And so, Byakuya acquiesced and followed her quietly through the door that lead to the inner corridors of the Fourth Division headquarters. "Your wounds are aggravated, how far did you carry him?"

Byakuya briefly considered not giving an actual answer, before making the connection. "From west Rukongai," he replied, watching her reaction.

She smiled briefly and led them into a side room, closing the door behind them. "That is quite a relief to hear. Could you remove your robe, please?"

He nodded shortly and went about undoing his scarf first, which he set on the bed next to them, and then continued on with his outer robes. "What did she tell you?"

"You released your ban kai and Abarai-san was the target," Unohana replied, easily taking each layer of clothing and folding it crisply. "Judging from his condition, I am willing to believe that. Ah… looks like he hit you pretty well too."

Byakuya glanced down at his left side, for the first time actually looking at the wound that had caused everything. It was actually a fairly large gash seated just below his ribs still very much open and bleeding. Additionally, there was a nasty slice down his forearm that had caused blood to trickle down to his hand. Why did his left side always seem to take the brunt of the damage? He made a mental note to improve the left side of his defense.

Unohana tsked softly and took a clean, damp clothe to gently clean the wounds. "You should be more careful next time."

Byakuya glanced down at the woman calmly administering the treatment his wounds required and then returned his gaze to the wall as she worked. For some reason, the fact that she knew there would be a next time bothered him and he couldn't place the why. Of course, he hadn't doubted there would be. Now that Renji had actually managed to land a good blow, he'd be twice as determined as before.

"I'll give you some ointment to help close the injuries before it gets this bad again," she continued in the same soft tone she always used even while concentrating her spirit power to heal the gashes. "Please remember you are still recovering, though, Kuchiki-sama. Your body may be mended, but it is still possible to cause further damage. Your lieutenant should be told the same."

"I will mention it," he replied quietly.

They fell into a companionable silence as Unohana continued to work her magic on each injury she came across. "There," she announced a few minutes later, as she straightened from her work. "So long as you take the rest of the day easy you should be fine for work tomorrow." He nodded in reply and reached for his clothing again.

Isane greeted them both halfway down the hallway, passing a small container to Kuchiki while glancing at her captain for some kind of confirmation. Unohana smiled pleasantly at her and whatever was between them seemed settled. Byakuya didn't doubt that it had to do with him but didn't particularly care, either. And so, he moved ahead of them both, re-entering the front room.

"Oi! Kuchiki-taichou!"

Well, at least he had regained consciousness. "Yes, Renji?"

His vice-captain had propped himself up against the headboard at some point and was wearing the same silly grin he'd had just before he passed out. "Heard Unohana-taichou had to take you out back: didn't know I hit that hard."

For the first time in fifty years, Kuchiki Byakuya rediscovered what it felt like to fight down a smirk. "You don't, Renji," he answered instead while walking over to the end of his bed. Renji ran a hand through his hair a bit self-consciously but still chuckled at the jibe, already knowing the truth in it. "I think we've inconvenienced the Fourth Division for long enough today." _Get up, we're leaving._

Renji's whole expression lit up and he literally jumped out of bed, which was probably not a good idea as he was immediately overcome by a light-headed feeling and fell back on the bed with a thump. "Abarai-kun!" Hanatarou squawked, first trying to scramble out of the way, and then dashing over to make sure the vice-captain was stable.

"I'm fine I'm fine!" Renji insisted, fighting off the anxious healer.

"You shouldn't be running around like that! You lost a lot of spirit energy!" The smaller shinigami scolded.

"Yeah, yeah, so I got up too fast. I'll be fine, hey- lay off!" The last came out as a roar when Renji finally managed to shove Hanatarou away a safe distance. He shot his captain a furtive look.

The revered noble just met his gaze and very calmly said, "We will be taking the rest of the day off, Abarai-fukutaichou." Renji deflated somewhat at this, having expected to get right back to practice. Still, Byakuya had that look in his eye that very clearly stated he wouldn't be argued with. It was either that or he was amused, and since Renji had never seen his captain _amused_, he went for the more likely explanation. "Get your clothes on; I set your zanpakutou on the table."

"Uh yeah… 'bout that…" Renji rubbed the back of his neck a bit, not quite meeting his captain's gaze. "You kinda shredded my robes." He gestured to the pile of blood and cloth on the ground next to his bed.

_ Perfect._ Kuchiki Byakuya found himself at a loss for words. He couldn't very well blame his lieutenant for something that had been a result of his own instinctual reaction. He felt the intense urge to sigh, but refrained from doing so. Really, what was he going to do with this man? "Then just get your sword."

Renji slipped off his bed slowly this time, and grabbed Zabimaru from the table. Laying the sword across his shoulders, he glanced back at his captain. After receiving a stoic nod, he smiled a little hesitantly and waved back at the remaining members of the Fourth Division. "Thank you, Hanatarou! Seems like you're always getting me out of tight spots," he yelled with a grin.

Hanatarou smiled brightly at him and waved back, "You're welcome, Abarai-kun! Have a good day!"

As they left the building, silence descended on the duo once more. Renji sensed tension creep up around them suffocatingly fast and wondered what he'd done to put his captain into such a bad mood. He could have sworn the man was in a better mood just a few moments ago. Tension outside of battle was not something Renji was fond of, especially not concerning his captain. He stretched slightly, his muscles still a bit tight. Hey, it was better than fidgeting.

"We need to wash up and eat something," Byakuya instructed suddenly. Renji nearly jumped at the sudden noise. "You need to replenish the energy you spent."

Renji gave a nervous laugh, "Are ya' kidding? I've survived worse." _Whoa, wrong thing to say, _Renji deduced immediately from the frosty look his captain gave him. His laugh trailed off weakly. "Eh heh… um, yeah… You know, my place is pretty close to here… want to stop by for lunch?" He glanced at the sky, checking the time as an excuse to look away. "Well, I guess it's more like early dinner, or-"

"You cook?" Byakuya inquired and while his expression didn't really change, Renji could have sworn he heard a distinct tone of disbelief.

"Che, 'course I can cook!" He defended immediately, looking back at his captain.

"All your meals are provided for here," the noble pointed out.

"Yeah, well, wasn't always like that. A guy has to learn how to fend for himself, ya' know," Renji muttered defensively. "And anyway, if you don't want to-"

"What will you make?"

"Eh?" Renji blinked.

"What do you plan on cooking?" Byakuya repeated.

"Oh, I uh…" Did that mean he had agreed? "I dunno… I think I have enough to make stir fry for two people?"

"Ah."

"… So you're coming, then?" Renji ventured, glancing back at his captain. Byakuya arched an eyebrow at him as if to say, "_That wasn't already obvious?"_ He sighed and made a small waving gesture with his left hand. "All right, you could just say 'yes', you know."

-----

To Byakuya's surprise, the flat was actually… clean. Well, it wasn't exactly spotless, but everything looked well kept and there wasn't anything on the floor. He wasn't quite sure what he had expected to see, but it was still a pleasant surprise. Renji walked in after him, closing the door and muttering something as he pushed his hair back over his shoulder again. "What was that?"

His lieutenant looked back at him abruptly, as if not having expected him to hear anything at all. "…'s nothing, taichou. I just need to find a hair tie. I think that was my last one, though…" He sighed a bit and set his sword down against the traditional style dinning table in the middle of the room.

"You seem to have a habit of losing them," Byakuya remarked.

Renji gave him a peculiar face and then replied, "With all due respect, Taichou, _you_ seem to have a habit of slicing them off." Oh. The Kuchiki heir wasn't quite sure how to reply to that. Thankfully, his vice-captain had already moved on and into the kitchen, saving him the need to respond. "Ah, looks like we're havin' beef," he called out after a moment, and then reappeared at the entranceway to the small room. "If you want, you can use the shower…" He offered, walking out and over to a short hallway. "I know you said you wanted to wash up, and it'll take me a bit to make th' stir fry…" he added as an afterthought, glancing back.

Cleaning up was very appealing at the moment, since he was still relatively covered head to toe in blood. Unohana had been quite selective in her cleaning. At the same time, cleaning up and then dressing back in said dirty, stained clothing was rather unappealing. As if reading his mind, Renji suddenly added, "I probably have something you can change into… I mean, if you want."

Finding no more reason to turn down the offer of soothing, warm water, Byakuya nodded and followed his subordinate down the hall. Renji slid open a door on the left to reveal a small, but functional bathing area. It was built traditionally, with two separate rooms: one for undressing and another for actually bathing. The bathing area had a bathtub in it, which Byakuya hadn't expected from the description he'd been given, but noticed that the tub had been fitted with a shower head as well. And, once again, everything looked well kept and clean. Byakuya glanced back at his vice-captain as the man said something about being right back and jogged across the hall. He looked around again. It was strange to think of Renji cleaning anything, but the domestic scene was equally… fitting.

"Ah, here, taichou," Renji spoke up, walking back in with what looked like a folded kimono about the length of their normal robes. Byakuya noted with some relief that was plain white: not the usual patterns the red head wore off duty.

"Thank you, Renji," the noble answered politely and took the cloth.

"Ah… yeah, no problem," Renji grinned again and stepped out. "Towels're on the right," he added before leaving completely and sliding the door shut.

Renji was more than happy to get back to the kitchen and out of the host role for a bit. How on earth people managed to be so polite and accommodating and, and… nnrg! He ran a hand through his hair. Why the hell was he entertaining Kuchiki Byakuya of all people, anyway? _Because you invited him._ Renji told _that_ particularly informative part of his mind exactly where it could stick its comments, thankyouverymuch.

He pulled out the bags of vegetable and meat, distracting himself with getting everything set up. Since he'd had wounds pretty much everywhere, most of him was already clean from Hanatarou's excellent healing. The kid really had talent. Be that as it may, he still took a moment to wash up at the kitchen sink before settling into making the food. He set some water to boil, and with his old set up he knew it would be a while before that happened. Some of his hair fell in front of his eyes as he watched the pot. He pushed it back. It fell forward again. Renji swore creatively at it and marched off to his room again. It was already going to be hell getting it clean tonight, he didn't need it getting burnt, boiled, or anything else his cooking could possibly due to it.

Unfortunately, he noted after going through every drawer he owned, he'd been right about his supply of hair ties. Renji sighed and tried finding a spare piece of cloth or string or _something_. He really needed to talk to his captain about that, or at least figure out how he managed to fight with his hair down and not have it flying everywhere by the end. Eventually, he found a piece of string hiding under a shirt he'd mended the other night and looked at it dubiously. It was something, yes, but there was no way in hell it'd hold his hair up the way he normally had it. Great. Renji set the string on his bureau and quickly pulled his hair back into a French braid, somehow tying the string at the end well enough to hold it. Well, it was better anyway.

When he returned to the kitchen, the water was happily boiling away. He smirked at his timing and set about getting the rice poured in, the vegetables washed and chopped, the skillet cleaned and the meat sliced up. It was a familiar and soothing pattern. Soon, all the nervous tension of earlier slipped away and his sore muscles loosened up a bit. The rice was taken off the stove and poured generously on two plates, the pot ending up in the sink, soon to be followed by a soy sauce covered skillet and mixing spoon. It took him an extra moment to find a spare set of chopsticks, but he eventually did and even managed to dredge up the two pieces of ceramic whatnot to place the chopsticks on when not eating. It seemed like something the Kuchiki heir would expect.

Renji had long since admitted to himself that he wasn't very good at 'entertaining' guests. Having a few friends over for a drink or something, sure, but playing host and trying to actually entertain someone was over his head, to say the least. Not one to be daunted, however, he arranged the dishes on his small table as precisely as he could manage, having only vaguely glimpsed what a properly set dinner table looked like. The drinks, he noticed, would be another thing entirely. Out of just about everything, and what he did have was just enough for one person. Sake would have to do, he surmised. Then, with a sigh, he put the bottle he'd grabbed away and took out the unopened one. It was higher quality and now that he thought about it, Renji very much doubted his captain would appreciate the crap he normally drank.

Of course, that launched him into a deep and arduous search of his cupboards for sake-appropriate cups. He grumbled under his breath the whole time. This was the last time he played host. It was too much damn work. Abarai Renji was not a man who knew all the ins and outs of propriety. That was damn sure. Just as he re-entered the main room that was currently the functioning as the dining area, he noticed his captain already seating himself, setting a pile of neatly folded clothing next to him. At least the kimono seemed to fit, and the man seemed to be in a better mood now that he was clean.

"Enjoy the shower?" Renji asked as he set the bottle of sake on the table and placed the two newly found cups down on either side of it. "Hope you like sake," he added, "I don't really have anything else."

"Sake will do," Byakuya answered evenly, pouring himself some. "And the shower was fine."

_ Well don't just jump all over me with thanks, now…_ Renji valiantly pushed on, keeping a scowl from his face as he sat down casually and picked up his chopsticks. "Dig in, taichou; I'm not the only one who needs to eat." He couldn't resist the small jab, he just couldn't. Not with his captain sitting there in his kimono looking as regal and just… _perfect_ as usual as if he hadn't just been involved in a bloody battle only an hour or so before.

True to his nature, though, Byakuya merely took a sip of the sake in reply, watching Renji over the top of the bowl like cup. "You found a hair tie," he commented finally, and gracefully set his cup on the table once more.

Renji was already a good quarter into his plate. He swallowed. "Not really, I just found some thread." He poked at a piece of meat. "I guess I'll have to find some more later."

Byakuya nodded once and picked up his own pair of chopsticks in a two-handed maneuver Renji had never seen before in his life. He concluded that it must've been a noble thing, and decided to ask Rukia about it at some point, and then went back to eating. His captain didn't really seem like making small talk, which was fine with him. He certainly didn't want to spend his dinner searching for topics of conversation that he really couldn't care less about. Unfortunately, though, this made him miss the slight widening of Byakuya's eyes when he finally took a bite of the food.

"Renji."

"Uh, yeah?" Said red-head looked up from his food curiously.

"Who taught you how to make this?" Byakuya asked in a painfully polite manner.

"I, uh… just kinda learned." Renji frowned lightly, not quite able to discern the look on the nobleman's face. "Why? I shouldn't taste that bad…"

"This tastes excellent, Renji."

For a moment, Renji wasn't sure he'd heard right. Kuchiki Byakuya… liked his cooking? He didn't know what was stranger, the compliment or the fact that his captain had looked just a little surprised when he'd given it. Well… _Well I'll be damned._ Without really thinking about it, he grinned. The same open, absolutely pleased grin he'd had earlier that day. "Glad you like it, Taichou."


	3. I Feel You

**Title:** I Feel You  
**Rating:** T (? Trying to learn this funky ratings)  
**Pairing/Character/s:** ByakuyaxHisana, Byakuya+Renji (It's there:O)  
**Word Count:** 4,063 (I'm not used to writting so little)  
**Warning/s:** Spoilers... um, probably all over the place  
**Summary:** Sequel / Companion Piece to "Ban Kai". Kuchiki Byakuya doesn't like rain.  
**A/N:** The title of this story is based off the lyrics to DJ Encore's "Out There", found here.  
It's an excellent and really sad song, and it's what I had on repeat throughout the entire time it took me to write this. I highly suggest listening to it while you read: it really sets the tone.

Additionally, I want to thank Celeste for all the drabbles she's written, more specifically, her story **On The Next Go Around** which really inspired this Byakuya angstfest.

**I Feel You  
**_Nearly all marriages, even happy ones, are mistakes: in the sense that almost certainly (in a more perfect world, or even with a little more care in this very imperfect one) both partners might be found more suitable mates. But the real soul-mate is the one you are actually married to.  
- J. R. R. Tolkien_

Night draped herself across the breadth of Soul Society like a lover gently twining with her companion. The earth and sky came together in a slow embrace which spread the warm colors of sunset across the land before finally resting together in darkness. A gentle, yet warm wind blew through the cooling branches of sakura trees having already reached their prime, dropping petals to glide through the air and dust the ground. Leaves of trimmed bushes shifted slightly under the wind's guidance, pushing against each other to create a soft rustling.

Illuminated in the moon's muted light, a man stood observing the pleasant scenery. His outer robe billowed slightly from the breeze, and seemed to glow faintly white in the low lighting. Three atramentous locks of hair spilt across his vision from the confining forms of the white kenseikan. The hair adornments shown brilliantly in the half light of the hidden moon as if trying to counteract the starless night shielded by darkening clouds. Moisture clung to the air densely, making the cloth of each layer of robes seem far heavier than it was. There was no doubt that tomorrow would be filled with the steady reverberation of rain hitting every surface it could touch.

Kuchiki Byakuya hated that sound. He walked the sakura-strewn paths of his private garden with the foreboding knowledge that when he awoke in a few hours he would be pelted with that noise as surely as the rain itself would strike him. Rain reminded him of tears. Tears reminded him of her. Even after fifty years the image of his wife lying lifelessly on the futon trying so desperately to smile at him caused something in his chest to tighten; reminded him that he was still here, and that he still had a heart to know the feeling of loneliness no matter what lengths he'd gone through to bury it.

Walking quietly through the sakura trees reminded him of her as well, but he did it nearly every night. Each light reflected in the pond shown like her eyes when they sat outside together. The gentle caress of night let him reminiscence about her touch and smile, which were neither hot nor radiant, but cool and subdued. It let him remember why those five years meant so much to him. And, after everything that happened, his nightly strolls let him think without fear of anyone discovering his thoughts.

The atmosphere filled and surrounded him, carefully unwinding his mind until each thought could be looked at for what it was and not what he thought it should be. It had started with the oaths he'd made upon her death, both now shattered by his own hand. He unfurled each pledge as he walked, discovering each reason as he rediscovered every angle of his garden night after night. From there, it had extended more directly to Hisana, to his family, and to himself. Trusting in something else to tell him how he should feel and act had been so simple; turning to something that had always been there was easy. It wasn't until Rukia's near execution, until the true depth of the system's corruption was shown, that he could look upon that code and see the imperfect creatures that had made it.

-----

Renji limped into the Sixth Division's main offices looking like something the cat dragged in. Long strands of bright red hair plastered itself in any and all directions to his clothing, face and neck. His robes were sticking to him even as the water-logged clothing hung off him and dripped water on to the tatami floor. Each step he took resulted in a squelching noise caused by more water spitting out of his socks and the bottom of his sandals. Zabimaru was clenched tightly in his left hand, the remains of its strap dangling from the top of the scabbard.

Byakuya took the scene in slowly as his frowning, grumbling lieutenant carefully squished his way across the floor. "Abarai-fukutaichou," he began in an admonishing tone.

"Yeah, I know I look like shit," the red head interrupted, favoring his left leg while setting his sword down at his desk.

"Renji," Byakuya tried again, a warning now in his voice, but was again interrupted.

"I know, taichou, I'll clean it up," his vice-captain growled and sat down with a watery thump. It wasn't until he moved to remove his shoes that the large slash in his pants became apparent.

Byakuya set down the brush he'd been using to write with and stood. "Not until you see to that injury," he stated calmly while walking to a closet at the opposite end of the room. "What happened?"

Renji paused in wringing out his adjunct sash, watching his captain open the closet and pull out a small box. He sighed and started undoing the ties of his new robe. "It's raining so hard you can't see your own hand. Kenpachi-taichou was on my ass again, so I was running too fast. Careened into a construction zone an' the bastard just thought it was the funniest thing. I'm sure all of eleventh knows by now." The robe was folded sloppily and put on top of his shoes and adjunct sash. He shivered, but shook it off and gathered up his hair to wring it out. "Happened on th' way back, though, so you don't have to worry or anything."

"Dry off," the elder replied holding out a towel presumably gotten from the half opened box. Renji blinked slightly, but took the towel and set it next to him in order to remove his soaked shirt. That done, he set about drying himself off as best as he could. Byakuya sat down nearby, placing the box down and opening it completely. He pulled out a few different containers and a long strip of cloth. "After being healed as quickly as you were yesterday, you need to be more careful about avoiding further injuries. Otherwise the damage will compound even if you were fully healed."

"… Oh." Renji couldn't really think of anything else to say. His captain was talking as emotionlessly as normal, but was at the same time quite calmly administering medical care. The whole scene felt rather surreal already, but even as he watched the noble methodically cut open his pant leg a little more and start cleaning the gash in his leg, Renji thought he noticed a touch of exhaustion in the normally stoic features. He frowned, wondering how or even if he should address it. "Ah, taichou…"

"Bend your leg."

Blink. "Er, what?" Renji stumbled, not prepared for his captain to start talking again.

"Bend your leg," Byakuya repeated evenly, as he reached for another container of ointment.

"Oh. Yeah, sure…" Renji pulled his left foot in a little to bend his leg, but only by a small amount. "Anyway, Taichou, I was thinking… None of the other squads are out today, maybe we should turn in early?"

Byakuya glanced up then, but only briefly, his gaze sharp. "You want to turn in because of a small injury like this?"

Renji bit back a return jibe and settled for a short glare. "I just thought that since I have nothing else to do, and they aren't sending updates anymore because of the rain… that there's no real reason for us to be here, you know?"

"You have no paperwork?" His captain replied skeptically.

"Well, no, not really," he answered, rubbing the bridge of his nose in an unconscious nervous gesture. "I ran down to headquarters after dinner yesterday to get a new uniform, and thought I might as well pick up the work I missed while I was there."

Byakuya paused with only one loop of bandage around the wound, but quickly started again before his adjunct could notice. Abarai Renji had… worked on his day off? He had thought that the man's doggedness applied only to things he was explicitly determined to do. Then again, he thought, Renji had always been driving to surpass him: perhaps that didn't just apply to the battlefield. "Then once you clean up, you can leave."

Renji sighed and set his right elbow on his knee, so he could lean on that hand and watch his captain work. "I didn't just mean me, taichou. Don't you want to get out of this gloomy office?"

Yes, he did want to get out of this place that did nothing but echo the most dreadful noise he'd ever heard endlessly until he resonated with it. But, then, where would he go: home? What was there other than lonely corridors and whispers of what used to be; other than the cold, the pain, and emptiness? "I have paperwork to finish," he answered, pulling the cloth tight and fastening it in place. He sat back to re-pack the box.

"Can I help with any of it?" Renji asked impulsively, watching his captain as he closed the box and stood once more.

"If you could, it would have been distributed to you," Byakuya answered detachedly. He walked back to the closet and returned the box.

There was a hint of… something in the noble's voice. That there was any emotion aside from disdain there was startling, but this particular something stuck out, because, just for a second, Kuchiki Byakuya had sounded tired. Not the simple tired of being overworked or missing a night of sleep. Rather, it was deep and worn, like it had been there for some time and had just gone unnoticed. "Well, it shouldn't take you that long anyway, but I'll stick around in case you need something," Renji eventually answered.

Byakuya looked up as he sat down at his desk again. "Right now, I need to have the floor cleaned."

Renji grinned and sat back, "'course, Taichou."

-----

Byakuya slid the door shut quietly, and locked it before turning back around. The rain was still pouring, but the walkways were covered for a good length in each direction, so nothing immediate was drenched just yet. The air had cooled off considerably since that morning and even though he had finished early, it was still darker out. But it was the continuous noise more than any of these things that convinced him to visit her spot. It wasn't until a few minutes into his walk that the nobleman realized just how deeply rooted in the past his thoughts had become.

"Don't you live in the other direction, Renji?"

If his lieutenant had noticed his previous lack of awareness, he didn't comment on it. Zabimaru was slung across his shoulders again, half hidden by still damp red hair, which he shifted slightly when he turned his head to answer. "Headquarters is this way."

A slim black eyebrow arched. "Starting early again?"

Renji chuckled and shook his head, "Need to pick up another set of pants." He gestured pointedly to the recent, open rip on his left pant leg which was wide enough to see a hint of his bandaged leg through.

Byakuya nodded idly and returned his attention to his walk. As they reached the end of the covered walkway, the road forked: the left would lead on to the center of the Court while the right led off towards the wall and isolated gardens. Without a thought, Byakuya turned right and continued on. The sound of watery footsteps aside from his own made him pause along his path and turn to his left. The rain pelted him as he stood, looking at the now equally drenched form of his vice-captain standing just a couple feet behind him.

"Weren't you headed to headquarters?" He asked pointedly.

"Weren't you headed home?" Renji replied, though the tone of his voice indicated that he'd already known the other man had never intended to do so. There was no smile now, just a somber expression magnified by the sigh that came next. "Aren't you tired of walking alone, Taichou?"

"I do not recall asking you to join me," Byakuya answered and spun around, continuing along the path he'd chosen.

"I think you've gotten too used to being alone," Renji argued as he followed his captain farther down the road. The man in front of him kept walking, but he noticed the way the shoulders were set straighter: tense, defensive. Well, if that didn't work, then more drastic measures would be taken. "You know, if she was anything like Rukia, she'd probably punch you for the way you're acting."

In an instant, the air became harsh and dense: filling with the suffocating force of Kuchiki Byakuya's spiritual energy. Renji nearly choked at the sudden change and stumbled, trying to catch his balance. It was a silent, but forceful command to be quiet and leave before he regretted it. Unfortunately, Renji's survival instinct was being steadfastly ignored at the moment. He took a steadying breath and maintained his place, already having grown used to his captain's oppressive aura.

"I'm not going to run away, Taichou. If you want me to leave, you'll have to remove me."

There was a long, tense minute in which neither moved. Then, slowly, the spirit force lifted and the air returned to normal. Byakuya neither turned around nor addressed him, choosing instead to resume his walk. Renji waited a moment, just to be safe, and then hurried after his captain, falling into step beside him again.

Silence reigned as the pair walked on, down the winding path which had already been drowned in half an inch of water. Dingy sakura petals floated by as the rain pelted the soft ground to each side and the hard tile underfoot. There was a low rumble of thunder as the clouds shifted and a gust of wind blew by. It was as if the whole sky had ripped open under the strain of some unseen flood soon to manifest within the borders of Soul Society. Other than the constant pounding sensation and never-ending background noise neither shinigami really took note of the dismal surroundings: one focused on a far away past and another on an all too real present.

It was quite a few minutes before the captain of the Sixth Division stopped abruptly in the middle of the path, gazing off at something to his right. Renji was so startled by the sudden halt, that he nearly asked what was wrong before catching the way in which his companion was watching their surroundings. Really, he'd been expecting something more obvious: perhaps a bench or statue of some kind to mark the area. But the only notable piece near them was a large sakura tree whose branches had already been stripped of blossoms by the storm. Still, there was no doubt in his mind that every minuscule detail of this very spot was etched into his captain's mind. So, for a long while, he just stood next to him in silence, fighting off the chill trying to set into his bones.

"Why did you follow me, Renji?"

The softly spoken words snapped him out of the trance he'd settled into. Renji shifted his gaze to catch the one focused on him. "'cuz you didn't want me to." The gaze turned mildly irritated and almost turned from him before he added, "I told you before, Taichou: you're too used to being alone. And… you don't have to be." Renji cast his eyes upwards at the dark sky pelting them with water.

"I know she meant a lot to you, and 'm not going to say I understand what it feels like to lose someone like that. But I remember how scared I was when I thought I was going to lose Rukia after we'd already lost the rest of our family… and I think that terrified me more than anything else. I used to think it was because I loved her too much to let her go… but really I… I was just afraid of being alone." He looked back down, self-consciously avoiding his captain's stare.

"So I just… couldn't let you come here by yourself. I mean, you don't have anything to be afraid of, but in a way that's worse, isn't it?" Renji gave a nervous, half-chuckle and hazarded a glance at the man next to him. "Because… she really isn't here anymore."

Byakuya considered his lieutenant silently for a long moment. He knew, then, that something had changed. There was something fundamental that, over the course of the last fifty years, had built up around him: something that, during only the last few months, had first cracked and then crumbled entirely. "She could never return my love," he found himself saying suddenly with a sad, faint smile as he recalled the many times he'd tried so hard to gain it from her. Renji had a strange sort of confused expression at the comment, or perhaps the way he'd given it. "But for the five years we were together, she tried. Hisana was always grateful for what I gave her. And each time I saw her content… I was content as well, but… we were never in love… I always regretted not having more time to remedy that."

Renji stood for a moment in hesitation. Eventually, he settled on repeating the same, faint smile Byakuya had given him, though it was softer and less bitter than the one he'd witnessed. He brushed his hand against his captain's arm in a friendly, but oddly comforting gesture and said only, "I think it's time we headed inside, Taichou."

A regal nod answered him and blue eyes closed for an instant before the noble turned away from the scenery. For the first and last time, Kuchiki Byakuya bade the haunting memories of a muted love farewell. This time, the walk home was bearable.

-----

Steam slowly gathered in the room, a welcome counter to the cool mist accompanying the rain outside. Renji closed the door to the bath area to keep the heat in and continued removing the rest of his rain soaked uniform in the outer room. He paused on the last article of clothing, eyeing the tear in it and with a sigh plopped it in with the rest. Since he hadn't ended up visiting headquarters, he'd have to mend the pants sometime before work tomorrow. The sound of wood scraping tile accompanied him as he dragged a low stool over to the other end of the room and sat down to scrub himself before bathing.

-

Fire light cast flickering shadows along the wooden walls of the small room. It was empty, save for a low table squatting against the far wall, set fully though cleanly with a long scroll of paper and various brushes and inks stationed precisely along the top. Byakuya sat at the desk, brush in hand, carefully writing each character on the scroll with effortless precision. His posture was straight, with his legs tucked under in a proper seiza. Despite this, the Kuchiki heir was at ease: each stroke of the brush soothing his mind and allowing him a moment of peace.

-

Renji sighed as he slid into the steaming hot water of his bathtub, ignoring the dull throb that came from the gash in his left leg. The bath was soothing to his cold, sore body. He lay back, stretching out as much as he could in the deep tub. As he stayed there, letting the water buoy his frame just a bit, he closed his eyes and let his thoughts drift. It had been a long time since slowed down enough to allow his mind to wander, and now he found it perusing his more recent memories.

He hadn't actually seen Rukia much since the incident that left the Court of Pure Souls low on captains and high on construction and repair. Renji frowned a bit, thinking of how intent he'd been to improve himself since then. So much so, that he hadn't even seen the very person he'd be striving to improve for. He'd caught glimpses of her small form, sometimes accompanied by Captain Ukitake, sometimes bustling around to help like everyone else. It felt good to see her smile again.

As his thoughts hovered around the pleasant memories, he felt them drift to even more recent events. Renji didn't want to know how or why thinking of Rukia inevitably led him to her brother. Instead, he recalled the way his captain had been staring out at the small area off the path. The normally so cold blue eyes had been fixated on something that Byakuya had actually wanted to see. Usually, the nobleman's gaze was cold and piercing or distant and uncaring. He never seemed interested in anything around him, but just a short time ago, Renji was certain he'd seen an expression very close to longing on the man's face. He found himself wondering, however briefly, if Kuchiki Byakuya could ever express feelings that weren't quite so dismal.

-

The brush stopped suddenly, hovering in-between a finished stroke and the beginning of another. The firelight warming Byakuya's back had glinted off something to his left, drawing his gaze across the room to his neatly folded, pristine white scarf. He set the brush down, considering it. Although he was usually very meticulous with keeping the precious material brilliantly clean, there had been one time when it was covered in darkening splotches of red and gathering dirt as it laid over a soon to be corpse. He'd thought of it as a parting gift to his vice-captain: a sign of the begrudging respect that grew from seeing how much the man had managed to accomplish.

He could still remember how Renji had so gruffly shoved it back to him one day perhaps two weeks later. Now that he thought about it, it wasn't all that long ago. At first it had been hard to think of Renji finding the scarf again and spending the enormous amount of time it must've taken to clean the expensive fabric. After dinner in his lieutenant's home, though, it wasn't nearly has difficult to imagine. He wondered now, just as he did then, what had made Renji decide to clean and return it.

Byakuya turned back to his desk and stared blankly at the scroll he'd been writing. After a moment, he carefully rolled up the long strip of paper and elegantly tied it shut. He pulled out a small piece of rice paper and selected a smaller brush.

-----

The captain of the Sixth Division didn't look up when his lieutenant walked in that morning. He set his brush down and opened the small box on his desk, withdrawing a stamp from it. He didn't look up when Renji issued him a, "'moring, taichou," nor when he returned the greeting. The stamp was placed firmly on the bottom of document he'd finished and pulled away to reveal the graceful arches of his personal mon. And he certainly wasn't watching when his vice-captain paused half way through sitting down upon noticing the simply lacquered box resting on his low desk.

Renji finally sat on the tatami mats with a soft 'thump', regarding the box on his desk curiously. It certainly wasn't like anything the headquarters sent out: the wood was too fine and the black lacquer shone too brilliantly not to be expensive and well cared for. What the hell was something like this doing on his desk? He leaned forward, noticing a simple design painted on the top in red. It seemed familiar, but he couldn't immediately place it. Belatedly, he also noted a carefully folded piece of paper sitting primly on top of the box.

He picked it up. It felt like rice paper. With somewhat of a thoughtful frown, Renji finally unfolded the paper. There was only one word written in the middle of the page: "Thank you." Renji blinked and looked down at the box again. He set the paper down and, using both hands, carefully lifted the delicate top, setting it beside the box. The white material immediately registered, and so, finally, did the image on the top of the box: the Kuchiki family mon.

Renji looked up sharply, gaze warily on the only other man in the room. "… Taichou?"

Byakuya didn't look up as he folded a piece of paper. "I'd appreciate it if you kept it this time, Renji."


	4. When The Moon Reaches Back

**Title: **When The Moon Reaches Back  
**Rating:** MAPP: NC-17, Fiction Ration: MA  
**Pairing/Character/s:** Byakuya x Renji  
**Disclaimer:** The author holds no license of nor makes claims to any of the characters, concepts, or story the above originated from in any way. The characters are used without permission of the original creator for the sake of entertainment only. No profit is gained from the writing found hereafter, nor any personal credit taken for the character designs, personalities or concepts stemming from the original story used. All situations below, unless otherwise stated, have no bearing on the creator's original work, and are solely the creation of the author based on personal interpretation of the above mentioned works or are parodies exempted from copyright laws. It is the responsibility of the reader to observe all warnings before proceeding to the fiction below, as it may contain any number of situations, themes, ideas, views, or lifestyles not suitable for those under the age of 18 or which may be contrary or offensive to the beliefs of some. In the event that the following is the author's original work, or contains an original character, the author holds the copy write and should be contacted before either is used or distributed in any way. All questions and comments concerning the written work or otherwise can be made directly to the author.   
**Warning/s:** Spoilers for the Bleach manga from chapter 140 on, the Bleach anime episode 51 and up.  
**Word Count: **8,074  
**Summary:** Sequel to "I Feel You". Fear is a strong motivator.  
**Author's Note: **The title comes from the story Byakuya tells Renji about how the monkey always reached for the moon but no matter how he tried, he only ended up at the bottom of the lake after chasing it's reflection instead. Obviously, the comparison is Renji as the monkey and Byakuya the moon.  
The original scene for this story has been stuck in my head for _ages_ and just now escaped. The dialogue is based around Urahara's teaching technique when he was training Ichigo. "Your sword speaks to me only of abused fear." It reminded me very strongly of that one page spread before/during Renji's big scene with Byakuya which read

_"I have always been afraid...  
always been pretending to follow you closely,  
always been pretending to sharpen my teeth,  
when the truth is, I am...  
scared to death just treading on your shadow."_

I mentioned before that I didn't think Byakuya could fall into another relationship without somehow healing before or because of it. This theme carries over from my previous stories of the two. I also want to point out that due to the nature of Byakuya's loss and the absolute torture he put himself through to keep both of his conflictin oaths, I don't believe he would have possibly been open to another relationship with anyone until after the Soul Society arc, which finally puts some sort of closure to that section of his life. That having been said...

**When The Moon Reaches Back  
"**_Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear."  
- Mark Twain_

Renji couldn't remember exactly how he'd ended up in this position. Maybe it was because of the alcohol he'd already had making his head pleasantly woozy, or perhaps it was the still damp, warm breeze that is slowly drawing him to sleep. Either way, he couldn't quite figure it out; and while he was sure he should have been more attentive at the moment, the Sixth Division's vice captain just couldn't focus on the situation no matter how hard he tried. Because even though he's absolutely certain that it should be strange and unusual to be at ease leaning against a sakura tree in Kuchiki Byakuya's private garden drinking sake with his captain who sat just to his right leaning against the same tree, Renji just couldn't bring himself to care about the absurdity of a moment he was enjoying so much.

For the past few hours, Byakuya's voice had thrummed softly in the evening air. It was probably the most it had been used for quite some time, Renji had thought briefly about an hour into his captain's quiet retelling. It had started simply, that much he remembered. The offer of sake after he'd been invited outside, his suggestion to sit for a bit, the beginning conversation of Division Six's recent work which had led them quickly to still far too recent events. There was an obvious pause when the topic was breached, or rather, when each new topic was breached.

Renji remembered, too, how surprised he'd been to find that the sake had loosed Kuchiki Taichou's inhibitions enough to continue their conversation on from the discussion of the damage done to the Court of Pure Souls through the obvious segue of those who had caused the damage, directly into the matter of Rukia's brush with death. His voice hadn't altered no matter how many topics he'd changed to since then. Its monotony kept Renji spellbound to the unfolding story: listening to each tale as if he were dreaming it. He could remember adding things in here and there, but exactly what he'd said escaped him at the moment, so he took another sip of his sake and continued listening.

Kuchiki Byakuya, on the other hand, was very much aware of every word that came out of his mouth. He wasn't the kind to drown his thoughts in sake and then spill over at the slightest nudge, but the day had been long and the work intensive. And, much as he was loath to admit it, the previous day's events had dangled in the back of his head through each and every headache the day had brought. The conversation replayed in his head when he tried to do paperwork, and Renji's rain drenched profile sneaked in when he was giving orders or dealing with the newest fiasco that the intense rains had brought. No matter how he looked at it, he just couldn't see the offer for anything but what it was.

It made him think of the days he'd spent in the Fourth Division recovering from his fights with Ichigo and Gin. Each day was a struggle to wake up again, but he'd forced himself to each time he felt the sun on his eye lids. Each day, his lieutenant would sit in the chair by the wall and talk. He'd talk about anything, tentatively at first, but with more and more emotion when he saw that it wasn't bothering the stoic noble. Byakuya had never said anything aside from what was needed to keep the other man going, and they hadn't spoken about it since, but those days were the first time in years he'd actually been grateful for company.

"_I told you before, Taichou. You're so used to being alone. You don't need to be."_

Byakuya was starting to see in Renji what had made Rukia decide to be apart of his family. It was simple, and rough just like the street rat it came from, but it was also warm, and warmth was something he hadn't felt in a long time. Renji's offer had been friendship: the companionship of the lonely, so to speak. He knew that Renji was far from alone, that the man often hung out with his old team members or the other lieutenants, but he also knew that Renji didn't look at Rukia the same way he did before. There was still affection and loyalty, still worry and care, but the love had been muted somehow. The yearning was gone, and with it an awkward distance had grown. And so, Renji was without a family again, intentionally or not, giving it up to the Kuchiki home once more.

For some reason that just didn't seem _right_. Renji had too much passion to be forced to devote it in only one direction. In ways, it seemed like his dedication to becoming stronger, to eventually beating his captain was nothing more than an outlet for his intense energy. Byakuya knew, of course, that it wasn't merely an outlet – nothing the man put the entirety of himself into could be – but he also knew it was the only passion his vice captain had left. That for all the man's casual attitude and exuberant disposition his features could so easily turn serious and sad, his eyes so easily reflect the pain Byakuya rued how easily shown in his own gaze. His eyes slid left so that he could catch his lieutenant's profile again and he belatedly realized that somewhere amidst his own ponderings, he'd stopped talking.

Tension tried to slide back into place as it was want to when neither of them spoke. It was hard, sometimes, to remember to make the effort to keep it at bay. Despite all that had happened, there was still such a distance between them. Byakuya hadn't expected much else, to be honest: such things usually took a long time to overcome, but still… it was something that nagged him every now and again on the rare moments when they were together and nothing was being said. Now that he had stopped talking, though, he couldn't find the words to start again. Instead, the sixth division captain took advantage of the pause to observe his subordinate, who hadn't moved since they sat down.

Renji had instinctively reclined against the tree in a rather casual position, his left leg bent so he could rest his arm on it. His right hand sat on his lap, holding an empty sake dish he hadn't bothered to refill again. He was still in his uniform for the most part, Zabimaru off his hip but not far away on the ground. He'd undone the outer tie of his robes when they'd first entered the garden, so now both his black gi and the white cloth beneath it were open enough to show some of the tattoos on his torso. Renji had since found a hair tie again, so the unruly red mass was tightly bound in his usual high pony tail. His visor like sunglasses weren't yet replaced, so he had substituted with the equally as common white clothe tied like a headband around his forehead. His eyes were open, gazing up at the foliage above them and the night sky beyond that, but it didn't look like he was actually seeing any of it.

"… Ne, Taichou…" Renji's deep tenor broke the silence suddenly.

"Yes, Renji?" Byakuya answered in his normal manner, turning forward once more.

Renji paused for a moment, as if rethinking what he was going to say. The silence stretched out; Byakuya could almost feel the uncertainty radiate from his vice-captain as the man finally settled on a thought. It was strange, since Renji usually didn't show any weakness around him if he could get around it at all. Eventually, the other man just sighed, shifting in his spot as he seemingly rethought what he was going to say and instead asked quietly, "Why'd you do it?"

Following his lieutenant's train of thought seemed like something that would take him a longer time to master than his ban kai. "Why did I do what, Renji?"

"Why did you become a captain?" Renji dropped his head down again, chuckling a little nervously under his breath. "I mean, I just don't get it. You're the only one in your family to have ever gotten this far and you're – it's amazing, Taichou," the man's voice shuttered a bit, making it harder to hear what he said, but he continued. "But you've never said anything about _why_ you pushed yourself so much. It was easy for you to join the Gotei 13… it would have been just as easy to stay that way. Then it's almost… almost outta the blue that you became a captain."

Byakuya turned to his left again, this time with more of his body than just his head, noting that Renji's position had changed to a taunt mimicry of defense. He frowned slightly, wondering not for the first time what was going through his subordinate's mind. "I did what was expected of me-"

Renji's somewhat harsh laugh cut him off. "Don't give me that bullshit, Kuchiki Taichou; you know I know better than that."

"Abarai-" the noble began again, but was again cut off.

"There was no one left to expect anything of you, Taichou," Renji continued more quietly this time. "I remember the day you became a captain. It felt like no matter how hard I chased… you just kept getting farther away. But there was no one there breathing down your back to become better, there was no one encouraging you to keep expanding your power, so the only person who could have made the decision to try… was you."

The captain of the sixth division frowned again and allowed himself to lean against the tree, this time on his left side, so he could watch his vice-captain's reaction. "I did it because I needed to," he began softly, watching as Renji relaxed, hearing the truth in his words. "I needed to become better than what I was… it hadn't been good enough."

Renji leaned back again, this time with his eyes closed and though he had relaxed a bit at his captain's words, he was still tense. "I can't imagine you ever not being good enough, Kuchiki Taichou," he spoke softly, a slight tremor in his voice, "but I know the feeling. I told you before… that the reason I fought so hard for Rukia was because I… I was terrified of losing her, and you already know that I want to surpass you, but that's not the whole reason." He took a somewhat shaky breath and opened his eyes again. "'cuz the truth is, Taichou, no matter how close I get… I'm still just scared to death." Renji hazarded a glance back at his captain, adding quietly, "I guess I was just hoping there was a chance you might've been scared too."

The heir to the Kuchiki clan remained silent for a long moment, digesting everything that had been told to him. His expression didn't change, but he sat up slowly and turned so that he was facing his lieutenant completely. "Having no fear only makes one a fool or defeated," he stated finally, "Continuing on despite fear is true power, Renji, and that's exactly what you have done."

Renji straightened a bit, surprised by his captain's words and somewhat embarrassed by the hidden compliment: the noble had never complimented him before. He opened his mouth to reply, but then closed it sheepishly, unsure of how he should answer. He hadn't even expected to say that much, and so hadn't anticipated that kind of reply. Instead, the best he could do was meet his captain's gaze unflinchingly.

"And, to answer your real question: yes, I have been afraid. I was scared when my parents passed away. I was frightened when Hisana took ill. And I remained that way for years after she left me as well," Byakuya continued, his voice taking on a tone Renji had never heard before. I seemed… fragile, but somehow still stern and determined. "I was terrified of again being placed in a situation I couldn't do anything about… and I am afraid of what I'm about to do."

"Kuchiki Tai-" Renji tried to question, but was cut off by his captain's lips suddenly covering his own. Auburn eyes widened in surprise, but then slowly recovered from the initial shock and slid half way shut. His arms moved of their own accord and grabbed the front of Byakuya's gi, pulling the other man closer. As if following some unseen queue, their lips parted simultaneously to deepen the kiss. He wasn't thinking anymore, because if he did he might have to come up with a reason or excuse for his or his captain's actions and he wasn't sure he wanted one.

They broke slowly, but didn't pull away. Renji's grip tightened, bunching the pristine white material of Kuchiki's captain over-coat. He leaned forward suddenly, pulling his captain against him as he did, so he could hide his face against the crook of Byakuya's neck and avoid whatever expression it was that had spread across his captain's face. More than anything, he didn't want the other man to see what was written on his own, because now he was more frightened than ever.

-----

For some reason it made things easier. For some reason, seeing his captain the next day went much smoother. For some reason, talking to him and joking around a bit came effortlessly. Nothing really changed, but somehow it was different. Kuchiki Byakuya was still the same cold noble he always was and Renji, well, he knew he knew he seemed to be the same, but there wasn't any tension left in him. He was terrified underneath it all: didn't know what it could mean or how it could progress, but for some reason it just didn't bother him as much anymore.

And when Kuchiki Taichou decided to cut off the day's work in the afternoon, Renji didn't have to ask to know it was because his captain had chosen to step up his training a bit. And somehow, it was easier to strike out at his captain way out in the middle of nowhere, Hihiou Zabimaru spun out over countless yards around him, a wall of swords constricting his movement. Somehow, it was easier to attack. Somehow, he wasn't hesitant to slash or block. Somehow, the fear in him didn't matter anymore.

When Byakuya announced the end to their practice long after the sky had blackened, both ban kai's still solid and straining against each other even as their controllers paused, Renji didn't feel as disappointed as he usually did. He grinned and joked that, yeah, it'd be a good idea since he'd probably need yet another uniform if Kuchiki Taichou kept slashing him like that. To which his captain had suggested he be more concerned with learning how to avoid said slashes than replacing his clothing. Renji had released his ban kai with a heartfelt laugh and agreed, but thought maybe Kuchiki Taichou had agendas other than teaching him how to dodge. When said captain suggested they return to his residence to eat, bathe, and perhaps find the truth of that, Renji had to grin, because he was finally starting to see the subtleties of Kuchiki Byakuya's moods and couldn't help appreciating them.

And so an hour later saw them finishing a rather large, traditional meal on the tatami mats of one of the many rooms in the Kuchiki estate that Renji hadn't quite set to memory yet. As per their upbringings, Renji spent most of the meal with a rather relaxed sitting position, talking expressively in-between eating and complimenting the chef. Why didn't they serve stuff like this to the Gotei 13, anyway? Because it was far too expensive for that many people, Byakuya had quite calmly informed his companion, never breaking his seiza for a moment as he slowly and gracefully consumed his portion of the delectable dinner. He did mention, though, that Renji could probably give his cook some tips on how to make stir fry. Renji somehow managed to keep a blush down, and muttered something intelligible despite the warmth that spread through him at the compliment. He was still getting used to those.

Byakuya carefully set his chopsticks on the wooden rest in front of him and elegantly rose from his refined sitting position. Renji looked up at him curiously, still finishing his tea. "Taichou?"

"Join me for a bath?" He offered casually.

Coming from any of his friends it wouldn't have stood out. Renji swallowed his tea and set the cup down, stretching as he stood up. "Sure thing, Taichou."

Without another word, Byakuya turned and left the room. Renji followed silently, looking around as they entered another desolate hallway so he could try and memorize yet another part of the grand estate. In the end, he decided it really wasn't worth his time, as it wasn't likely that he'd ever be wandering around without his captain. For some reason, that thought was rather comforting. They stopped at a door halfway down a short hallway that ended in a doorway. Renji took note of it, because every other hallway either led outside or to a ridiculously huge room with the door _open_.

A soft waft of steam drifted out when Byakuya opened the door and walked in, glancing back for the first time since dinner to watch Renji follow him in. The first area was moderately sized for a simple cleaning area. There was a small shelving unit against one wall which held lidless baskets of towels and another next to that in which all the baskets seemed to be empty. Renji pondered this as he swept his gaze across the rest of the room.

"There are two ways into the bath," Kuchiki Byakuya's deep voice interrupted his subordinate's thoughts suddenly as the noble selected both an empty basket and one with a few towels in it. Renji blinked at him. Byakuya fought down a smirk and gestured to the other end of the room which had a noran covered doorway identical to the one closer to their side. "Take your time," he added and turned on his heel, taking the closer doorway and disappearing behind the long noran.

Renji shifted in place for a moment before following Byakuya's lead and taking one of each basket and pushing aside the other noran. A short hallway later, he found himself in a room much like his own back at his apartment. The flooring was wooden, as were the single stool and box of various soaps set in the middle of the room. There was a heated tub nearby with a bucket next to it and the whole room was filled with a light steam that wafted off the water in the tub. All and all the room was comfortably familiar, while at the same time showing little bits of the noble home it belonged to in such details as the type of wood used and the craftsmanship within.

Renji set the two baskets down and quickly stripped, guessing the empty basket was for his clothes. With each piece of clothing removed, he took stock of the injuries received that day. There were three shallow slashes on his left arm and four on his right, all of which were closing relatively quickly do to some spot application of whatever ointment Kuchiki Taichou had handed him. His right stomach had a good nick in it, but he was steadily ignoring that with relative ease. Removing his gi had also enlightened him to a few "scratches" on his back that should probably be cleaned soon. The hakama came next, under which Renji was glad to find no new injuries had sprouted up. The gash in his left leg acquired a few days earlier was healing well, and although there were a few scrapes here and there, nothing looked like it needed more than a good cleaning.

The lieutenant of the Sixth Division filled a bucket full of hot water and sat down on the stool in the middle of the room, wondering why it was the better his captain and he got along, the more wounds he seemed to accumulate. With a sigh, he dipped a wash cloth into the bucket and started a vigorous scrub. Nothing really stung noticeably until he added a little soap and used a longer towel to get his back. It wasn't anything he couldn't ignore, but still hurt a good bit. Renji grumbled a few obscenities. When he trained _alone_ he'd never managed to get his _back_. He worked his back anyway, rubbing the towel over the wounds until they were either thoroughly clean or numb, whichever came first. Finally satisfied that they wouldn't bother him again, he rinsed with the rest of the water in the bucket and undid his hair tie.

A refilled bucket quickly emptied over his head and he took a moment to search through the box of soaps to find some sort of shampoo. Eventually landing something that smelled faintly of sandalwood, Renji refilled the bucket and sat down again, briskly rubbing the soapy concoction into his scalp. It felt surprisingly good. Better than his stuff at any rate. The full bucket next to him was quickly utilized to rinse out his hair, and as he squeezed out the excess water from the rinse, he noticed the red mane had grown again. For a moment, Renji contemplated cutting it, but then decided against it. If it ever needed a trim, his captain would likely end up fulfilling that task during one of their spars.

With that thought curling his lips, Renji grabbed the two baskets, one full of clothes and the other now only half full of towels, and took the second exit indicated by a noran simply marked with a "ゆ". The next room that greeted him was somewhat large for what seemed to be a rather private bathing area. A bath more resembling indoor hot springs was built into the floor of the room, taking up most of it from the middle outwards. The entire room was lined by tiled walls, an unbroken row of small windows topping each one. A light breeze drifted in from some of the open windows, but didn't cool the room by more than what felt nice.

Frowning slightly, Renji noted that he was the only person in the room. It seemed odd because he was sure that he'd taken longer than needed cleaning up. Not being able to do anything about that, however, he just found some stands set aside for his baskets, set them down, and grabbed a medium sized towel before making his way over to the bath in the middle of the room. There seemed to be a bench built into the side of the tub, which lined it entirely. Using this as a step, Renji entered the wonderfully hot water, wincing a bit when certain wounds were scalded, and noted absently that there seemed to be some sort of mineral mix in the water as well. With a content sigh, he leaned back against the side of the tub and set his head on the bunched up towel he'd brought with him.

It was hard to tell how much time passed before he felt the gentle swish of displaced water, but it had to be at least another few minutes since he'd gotten in. Renji cracked an eye open and then sat up a bit, surprised. Byakuya was already mostly in by the time his lieutenant had opened his eyes, but it was neither the relaxed expression he held nor the fact that he had chosen to sit fairly close to Renji that had startled the red haired shinigami. It was simple yet stark absence of five small yet very significant pieces of white. While it answered his questions concerning why the captain had taken longer than him – surely the complicated head piece would take a while to unweave from his hair – the fact remained that Kuchiki Byakuya _never_ appeared without his kenseikan. It was a subtle but potent admission that he considered this to be private.

Renji slowly leaned back against the edge of the bath, unsure whether that was a good thing or not. He thought it would be harder thinking of Kuchiki Byakuya as anyone other than the powerful heir to the Kuchiki clan, but he was finding it surprisingly easy. Easy or not, however, the effect was only helped along by the fact that his captain looked undeniably… _sensuous_ with his hair down and still wet enough to stick to his neck and shoulders. Some of the raven tresses still managed to feather the front of his face even without the help of the kenseikan, the color contrasting alluringly with the noble's pale skin. Renji closed his eyes and leaned back before his wandering eyes could add much more than that.

It wasn't too much later that the wondrous sensation of lips ever so lightly brushing his neck caused Renji to crack an eye open again. It looked like his decision to not act earlier had not been appreciated. With a smirk, Renji leaned his head a bit to the right and opened both of his eyes just enough to watch his captain take advantage of the new expanse of skin. The brush of lips continued followed by the addition of teeth tracing a path up his neck until the other man paused to gently tug on the bottom of his ear. Renji let a soft sigh of pleasure escape then and turned his head back towards his companion to catch those wandering lips in a deep kiss.

Byakuya gave a soft rumble of approval and tilted his head to better return the kiss. He turned his body so that he was more completely facing his vice captain, sliding his right knee on to the bench against the other man's thigh and broke the kiss. A free hand snaked around his neck, and abruptly forced him down into another kiss, this one more heated than the last. He could feel Renji smile against his lips, amused at being able to catch his captain off guard. Byakuya let his hand drop down to Renji's shoulder and tightened his grip there, simultaneously pushing the other shinigami against the edge of the tub and forcing his head down, all but demanding control of the kiss.

Renji broke away then, panting softly for lost breath. Warmth pressed in on him even as it started to grow inside him. His captain pressed closer, unheard words ghosting past his ear that made him turn his head enough to look at the other man. An unseen hand trailed down his side and skidded across his stomach, the muscles there clenching automatically. Using the hand still buried in the hair at the base of Byakuya's neck, Renji changed the angle at which he dragged the other man closer and pressed his lips to the exposed Adam's apple, immediately parting his lips just enough to suck gently on the skin there. He felt a shiver run through the other man and grinned against his neck. Pealing his lips away slightly, Renji let his teeth drag along the sensitized flesh all the way to where neck met shoulders and paused there to alternate nipping and soothing the juncture.

A soft gasp giving way to an equally quiet moan escaped Byakuya's lips, his grip on Renji's shoulder tightening. His free hand ghosted up the taunt muscles of Renji's torso until it brushed over a nipple and paused there to tease the responsive nub of skin. The mouth trailed to his shoulder and when he twisted, the sharp pressure of teeth digging into his skin sparked through him. Byakuya in turn smoothed his fingers along the sensitized skin, soothing and stimulating at the same time. Renji's teeth were quickly replaced with lips again, mimicking the gesture received by relaxing the bitten skin. Byakuya's hand slid from Renji's shoulder to the nape of his neck, fingers threading through the thick red hair for a good hold before forcing his head back enough for his captain to catch his lips in a rough kiss.

Renji didn't have a chance to fight this time, Byakuya's skilled tongue quickly making him both incapable and unwilling to push for control. With a low moan, he relented, letting himself be pushed against the wall of the tub by the noble's warm body. Then suddenly, the heat and weight shifted off him and the lips vanished from his. Renji blinked his eyes open in confusion, glancing up and to his left to catch sight of his companion as he carefully climbed out of the water.

"Taichou?"

Byakuya turned and passed Renji a towel, "My room is just through that door," he answered, gesturing to the only door left which rested snuggly in the nearest corner. "I assume you would prefer it to a bath?" The noble didn't let the tone of his voice change much, but the look he was giving the other man said enough.

Renji took the offered towel and climbed out as well, not being able to keep a chuckle down. His captain was the only person he knew who was prim enough to ask before continuing and yet commanding enough to make it sound like an offer of comfort. With a shake of his head, and feeling slightly more relaxed than before Renji answered, "Yeah, Taichou, I'd like that."

-----

Renji slipped quietly into the hallway, making sure to slide the door shut behind him. He hastily readjusted the slippery silk house robe he'd managed to find and tightened the sash again. His tired muscles protested weakly when he started walking down the hallway, joined adamantly by some sharp jabs of pain from the cuts he'd ignored earlier as well as other places that hadn't hurt in a long time. As usual, he ignored it all and kept walking down the dimly lit hallway, not quite sure where in the large home he was or where, particularly, he was going. 

The thing was, he'd simply never let himself fall asleep: his mind just kept going and despite or perhaps because of everything that had happened he was still a little… confused. When he was confused, usually, he hit stuff. Well, he worked out, and if he was lucky could convince someone to spar so it was like hitting things, and he always thought better when he was fighting or at least moving, so it worked out best in the end. He couldn't quite do that this time, though. If he hit anything in this house, he was pretty sure he'd owe more than he was worth no matter what it was, and the only person who he could think of sparing was asleep and damned if he was going to wake Kuchiki Taichou from the slumber of the sated.

Which, really, only left walking, and since he hadn't been able to locate his basket of clothes, he was forced to do so in a thrice damned robe that kept moving and sliding every time he moved. No wonder his captain hardly seemed to move when he walked! That aside, his mind was really only stuck on one thought: now what? The most unnerving thing was not knowing if he should stay. Kuchiki Byakuya was a fickle combination of propriety and defiance, and Renji wasn't quite sure where he fit in that. It was fine back when they were just captain and lieutenant: then he could easily fall under the rules of propriety (not that he knew the particularly well) and that was that. Now, though… now it was a matter of whether Byakuya meant to keep this under wraps.

Despite what most might think, Renji wasn't exactly the type of guy to go around announcing who he was involved with: he was simply too protective. That aside, his captain was far more private than he was, which left him to question if the man intended for him to simply pretend everything was not what it had just become. That one was a little harder to sort through, since this faucet of their relationship definitely fell under the defiance category. Renji knew he wasn't the first person Byakuya had taken into his life whom his family wouldn't exactly approve of, yet still had to let slide because of his captain's position, but somehow that knowledge didn't help the situation much. He wasn't an adoption and he wasn't a fiancé, hell, _he_ wasn't sure what he was, but he was pretty damn certain it wasn't "proper".

So was he supposed to stay or go? Was he supposed to sneak out before the servants woke up or stay defiantly in the Kuchiki estate – in the head of the clan's own bed – until they left for work in the morning? Did it matter to him? Oh hell yeah; he wanted to just go lay back down on the surprisingly comfortable futon and sleep, thinking be damned. …But he was too far in now not to care. What a mess. He ran a hand through his hair and grumbled.

"… Renji?"

Renji's head snapped up at the familiar voice. "Ru-Rukia?" _Aw… fuck._

The small woman drew closer, peering up at him, as if making sure she was seeing straight. Not that he blamed her, considering there was no damn reason for him to be wandering around her house in the middle of the night. Well, just one. Maybe. Not acceptable. Shit. "What are you doing here?"

"I, uh… er…" Renji stuttered, trying to come up with an excuse and failing miserably.

"And why are you walking out of Ni-sama's quarters?" She was peering suspiciously at him now.

"I… isn't it a little late, Rukia?" he finally managed, "what're you doing out this way, anyway? Shouldn't you be asleep?" There, if he had to go down, he was taking her with him.

"I just got back from my shift," she gestured pointedly to her uniform. "Does Ni-sama know you're here? He'll be upset if he-"

"He knows," Renji interrupted quickly, knowing full well that he was blushing head to toe now. "He, uh, invite-"

"What are you wearing?" Rukia stepped closer, grabbing at the material. "Is that silk? I didn't know you owned silk!"

"Rukia!" Renji hissed, grabbing the material back before it could slide too far out of position. "Oi, if you want to see me naked that badly-"

Rukia flushed at that, but didn't relent, "Are you kidding? Who'd want to see that?"

Renji growled, just about prepared to tell her exactly who would and did like to see 'that' when he felt a hand on his shoulder and damn near jumped out of his skin.

"What are the two of you conspiring about so late at night?" Byakuya drawled from behind him, and then added, "Other than stealing my clothes."

"N-ni-sama!" Rukia bowed automatically. "I was just returning from my shift and found Renji in the hallway-" she paused. Looked up again. Blinked. Looked at Renji. Looked at Byakuya, and then back at Renji who was giving a very nervous smile by this point… and grinned. "There's no way…"

Renji scoffed, crossing his arms. "It's not _that_ surprising."

"So you wouldn't mind if I told-mpphh!" Rukia clawed at the hands covering her mouth.

"My what a lovely night for a walk don't you think, Rukia?" Renji spoke loudly over her muffled indignities. "Ah, I thought so too: how about I walk you back to your room and you can never mention this ever again? Good? Good! I thought so: let's go!"

"Renji."

The red head stopped mid step and glanced over his shoulder.

"If you keep yelling like that you will wake the whole house," Byakuya calmly pointed out.

"Oh… yeah… uh, sorry, Taichou…" Renji sheepishly apologized, but before he could go anywhere, the hand was back on his shoulder pulling him away from the main hallway.

"Renji."

"…Yes, Taichou?"

"I would also prefer it if you didn't strangle my sister."

"… Oh." He took his hand off of Rukia's mouth and she pushed away, gasping harshly for air. "… sorry," he added, though unsure to whom he was apologizing. Rukia glared at him as he set her back on the ground.

"You should get to sleep, Rukia: I will see you tomorrow," Byakuya intoned formally.

Rukia looked a little uncertain now and maybe a little embarrassed, but bowed anyway and kind of made a quick step backwards as she did, mumbling something that sounded like, "Good evening, Ni-sama," and then spinning around to walk down the hallway as quickly and quietly as possible.

"We should get to sleep too," Byakuya pointed out once she was a significant distance away.

"… All night?" Renji asked quietly, turning slightly to look back at the elder Kuchiki.

Byakuya frowned lightly, "Yes all night, what else would I mean?"

"I mean…" Renji sighed and just asked, "I mean you want me to stay the whole night, Taichou? You don't want me to… leave before you or anything?"

"… That's why you were out here?"

Renji looked down, his hand coming up to rub the back of his neck sheepishly. "Well I… I wasn't sure, so I thought maybe if I went for a walk I could figure things out, but I-" He stopped short when jaw was caught in a gentle but firm grasp and tilted up so that he was looking straight at his captain again.

"I don't take risks for things I don't think are worth it," Byakuya interrupted with the simple statement. "You are worth it."

Renji's throat dried up almost instantly, leaving him without a way to speak if he could even find the words. So that was it. He grinned. He just couldn't help it. Without another avenue of expression, all he could do was grin at the other man and eventually lean forward to capture pale lips in a quick but fierce kiss. When he pulled back, his voice finally returned. "Let's go to bed, ne Taichou?"

Byakuya smirked back at him, just a slight upturn of the lips, but still more than the usually stoic man let show. "That sounds wonderful, Renji."


	5. Bitten

**Title: **Bitten  
**Rating:** MAPP: R, Fiction Ration: M  
**Pairing/Character/s:** Byakuya x Renji  
**Disclaimer:** The author holds no license of nor makes claims to any of the characters, concepts, or story the above originated from in any way. The characters are used without permission of the original creator for the sake of entertainment only. No profit is gained from the writing found hereafter, nor any personal credit taken for the character designs, personalities or concepts stemming from the original story used. All situations below, unless otherwise stated, have no bearing on the creator's original work, and are solely the creation of the author based on personal interpretation of the above mentioned works or are parodies exempted from copyright laws. It is the responsibility of the reader to observe all warnings before proceeding to the fiction below, as it may contain any number of situations, themes, ideas, views, or lifestyles not suitable for those under the age of 18 or which may be contrary or offensive to the beliefs of some. In the event that the following is the author's original work, or contains an original character, the author holds the copy write and should be contacted before either is used or distributed in any way. All questions and comments concerning the written work or otherwise can be made directly to the author.   
**Warning/s:** Spoilers for the Bleach manga from chapter 140 on, the Bleach anime episode 51 and up.  
**Word Count: **7,804  
**Summary:** Sequel to "When The Moon Reaches Back", in which the rumor mill spins, Byakuya is visited by an old acquaintance, Renji learns the pain of friendship and value of alcohol (or is it the other way around?) and life goes on.  
**Author's Note: **This story has been mulling about in my mind since the beginning of my ByakuyaxRenji series. Mainly, this is just events as I see them playing out. I can't imagine Byakuya and Renji getting along perfectly right from the get go, and this is an extension of that thought process. Renji always came across as a very protective and generally outward and honest person to me, while Byakuya is more of an inward person with similar qualities. This portends many a great battle, as we've already seen so far in the manga. Renji would step right into the relationship, whereas Byakuya would be careful and still rather closed off to him. This means that while Renji has lowered most emotional defenses, Byakuya has only raised them, thus conflict and chaos ensue. Thank goodness there's some voice of reason in that damn noble's head ;P.

**Bitten  
**"_No sword bites so fiercely as an evil tongue."  
- Sir Philip Sidney_

He hadn't thought of the event for days, usually having more pleasant thoughts to fill his mind, but come to think of it, maybe it hadn't been such a good idea to go for the opening. Of course, he hadn't exactly been betting on a trip to the Fourth Division for anything worse than a few slashes or bruised bones, so it only made sense that word got around the division fast. But the one thing that never crossed his mind was that news of it would ever _leave_ Division Four. This was part of the reason why, after all the years he'd known Ikkaku, Renji never once thought that a simple offer of drinks would turn into such an inquisition.

"Well don't start dyin' on me 'cuz of a simple question!" Ikkaku reprimanded, smacking the red head on the back to help him choke down the sake lodged somewhere between his lungs and his stomach. "Can ya' or can't ya'? Oi! I never knew ya' had such a damn problem keepin' your alcohol! Che!"

Renji glared at the Eleventh Division's third seat and shoved the man's arm off him to regain his normal breathing pattern. "Where th' hell'd you hear that?" He grumbled, and then coughed one last time, the foul liquid finally going where it was intended.

Ikkaku just grinned mercilessly at him. "I've got my sources."

"Meaning you shook down some poor Fourth Division brat until he could babble in full sentences," Renji supplied with a grimace, taking a needed swig of sake.

"So what if I did?" Ikkaku snickered, most likely reminiscing the moment if his face was any gauge. "An' anyway, ya' still haven't answered me! Can ya' or can't ya'?" He pushed.

For some reason, Renji felt reluctant to say anything. His auburn eyes lidded partially and he looked to the side as he groused, unable to find a reason for his mood. It felt weird. Shouldn't he be bragging about it? Then again, the only person he'd really wanted to show was Kuchiki Taichou, and damned if he hadn't already done just that. Well, if attacking counted as showing. "…Yeah, I can."

"Geez, don't get too excited now," Ikkaku muttered, not comprehending Renji's lack of enthusiasm for an achievement he by all means should've been celebrating. "So how long?" he pressed, trying to pull Renji's attention back.

The Sixth Division vice captain sighed at the memory and turned his gaze back to the other shinigami. "Since the day of Rukia's execution."

Ikkaku's eyes widened, "Why didn't you tell anyone? Shit, Renji! It's fucking Ban Kai! That's captain level-"

"I know what level it's supposed to be!" Renji snapped suddenly, overly angry at the simple comment but not nearly buzzed enough to blame the alcohol. "I fucking _lost_ Ikkaku. Would you go braggin' about that!"

There was a long, tense pause, and then, "… You fought with it?"

"… What the fuck were you told?" Renji queried darkly, upset he'd let something slip that he didn't need to. He and Byakuya hadn't mentioned the incident to _anyone­_ since Renji had placated a rather anxious Hanatarou by explaining what had happened.

"Che, calm down," Ikkaku returned sharply. "All heard was that ya' got messed up practicin' it! I didn't know you'd already fuckin' _achieved_ it." He grinned again suddenly, "So who'd ya' fight?"

"I swear, Madarame, you say anything, a fuckin' _hint_, and I'll give you a fuckin' _personal_ showing," Renji growled lowly, leaning closer for effect.

"Okay, okay, lips're sealed!" Ikkaku grinned eagerly, shoving Renji back to his own seat. "So tell me already!"

Downing another swish of alcohol, Renji sat back against the nearby wall and frowned. He sighed finally and replied, "Kuchiki Taichou. We fought back just before th' execution was s'posed ta' happen and he beat my ass into the ground. I'm not proud of it."

Ikkaku sniggered at the last comment and sat back as well, glancing up at the ceiling ponderously. "So ya' must've just gotten it when ya' fought, eh? Not trained well enough?"

Renji snorted derisively, "Not battle ready," he answered, smirking in spite of himself.

"And now?" Ikkaku looked down and across again, focusing on Renji.

The red head grinned then, letting a little of his friend's previous enthusiasm slip in. "It's a lot better."

Ikkaku started to grin back, "And…?"

"An' what?" Renji relaxed a bit, sinking against the wall more.

Ikkaku gave a frustrated growl, "And when're ya' applyin'! I got money on this, man!"

Renji blinked stupidly for all of a second before lurching forward, "You WHAT!"

Pure instinct allowed Ikkaku to clamber out of the way fast enough to avoid collision. "The fuck is wrong with ya'!"

"What do you mean you've got money on when I apply? How many others know!" Renji was positively seething at this point, a reaction so incongruous to what Ikkaku had expected that the third seat cold only stare in confusion for a good minute after the outburst.

"I, uh… I guess… all the vice captains, the first ten chairs of Eleventh, most of Fourth and at least some captains?" He ventured, finally.

"And they all think I'm pushing for captain?" Renji continued, slightly calmer.

Ikkaku nodded.

Renji sagged and pushed himself back against the wall. "Fuck."

Ikkaku blinked. "I think I missed somethin'…"

"I'm not trying for captain, Ikkaku." Renji clarified.

"There's _three seats_ open, don't be stupid, Abarai!"

"I'm being perfectly reasonable!" Renji raged. "You think a fucking 'Ban Kai' means a damn thing to captains! So what? They _mastered _their Ban Kai: mine's not even fucking finished yet! Regardless of whether I've gotten more powerful, there're still a million other things I need to do to fill an empty seat! Do you have… Do you even _know_ anything about what that position means aside from fighting?"

"Calm the fuck _down_, Abarai!" Ikkaku snapped, moving back to his previously vacated spot. "I'm not some idiot who thinks things like Kenpachi Taichou happen all th' time, so sit yer ass down and take a drink before I shove it down yer throat."

Slightly mollified, Renji begrudgingly grabbed another bottle of sake and slumped into his seat again, downing a long swig immediately.

"Now I don't know what's got ya' all worked up 'bout this, and I'm not gonna try an' guess," Ikkaku continued, reclining with his own dish of sake which was being used more for gesturing purposes than drinking at the moment. "But just think a sec. We're three captains short and out of those divisions, how many ya' think could be looked after by their vice-captains?"

"… How's Hinamouri doing?" Renji asked quietly.

"Eh, don't really know much about 'er. I heard some of the lieutenants saying she was still basically outta commission, though." Ikkaku mumbled, waving his drink. "She'll prob'ly be outta it for a while."

"And Kira…" Renji sighed and drank more. "I've known him since the Academy, but damn he's messed up right now."

"Yer implyin' he was right in the first place," Ikkaku pointed out. Renji glared. "All right, all right, look, my point's this: Hisagi's prob'ly the only one capable of taking over his division, and Yumichika's pretty sure the guy doesn't have a Ban Kai. Considerin' he took the bastard out with his shikai, I believe him."

"So yer point's that because the vice-captains of Three, Five, and Nine are either still in shock or probably don't meet one of the requirements, I should ask to be considered because I can Ban Kai." Renji summarized, looking at Ikkaku for affirmation.

Ikkaku sighed. "Yer makin' this harder than it needs to be. I honestly don't see whatcher so upset about. Ya' lead fine, ya' train fine, and ya' get your paperwork done quick enough to run off every few days. That's already better than Kusajishi-fukutaichou."

"She'd kick yer ass if she heard that," Renji smirked.

"Yeah, well, she ain't gonna hear that, is she?" the other shinigami challenged, glaring back.

Renji sighed, "I guess not, though it'd really be worth watchin'. Anyway, if I applied, who'd help Kuchiki Taichou?"

"Che, I dunno, yer third seat? Why's it matter?" Ikkaku muttered, leaning forward a bit to watch his friend. "You used ta' talk about becoming a captain all the time-"

"I said I was gonna surpass Kuchiki Taichou," Renji grumbled, "and I still haven't done that."

Ikkaku cursed under his breath and leaned back again in exasperation. "I give up."

"'bout time," Renji muttered. Ikkaku snorted and drained his sake dish. "… Sorry 'bout your money."

An empty sake bottle hit the wall next to Renji's head.

-----

"This many meetings already and still no replacements?"

"Give it time, we're still recovering-"

"And three of our divisions are leaderless."

"There's simply no way to appoint anyone as yet without lowering the requirements for the captain rank. We'll have to make due with the vice captains until then. I hear Division Nine is holding together admirably."

"What about Abarai-kun?"

Byakuya looked to his left, arching a surprised eyebrow at the ever flamboyant Kyouraku Shunsui. "What about Abarai?" he queried back. A few other captains glanced over when he echoed the question. The reverberations of shifting cloth and quick feet faded to a murmur in the large hallway leading from the meeting chamber.

Kyouraku shrugged loosely, tipping his hat up a bit. "He's an excellent officer, wouldn't you agree, Kuchiki Taichou?"

"And only two months into his term as my lieutenant," the noble replied neutrally.

Hitsugaya harrumphed, "What does that have to do with it? I skipped lieutenant."

"You believe Renji should ask to be considered for one of the positions?" Byakuya continued.

The smaller captain shrugged. "Why not? He can at least try."

"True," Ukitake murmured from a little farther to the right then smiled at his fellow captain. "He's done fine work so far, and he's the only lieutenant I know of capable of holding Ban Kai. Unless we have another Toushirou-kun hidden somewhere, he would be the obvious choice for promotion."

The other eyebrow rose at that, Byakuya's dark gaze moving instantly to Unohana.

"My, word certainly travels fast," the woman commented serenely, "especially when one asks that it not. Don't you agree, Kuchiki-sama?"

"Mm," the nobleman offered wordlessly.

"Ah? You didn't know?" Ukitake ventured, attempting to decode the other man's response.

"I was not aware that it was public knowledge," he replied finally.

"When your secret is known by those who are preyed upon, it is common knowledge." Soi Fong offered the proverb curtly and then added, "He may be an excellent officer, but he will remain an adjunct until _he_ decides to become something more. _We_ should be focusing on our own jobs in order to better accommodate our loss until we return to full strength. Speculation at this point is moot."

-----

"… So how was your day, Taichou?" Renji grimaced a bit at his own tone of voice, but was willing to put up with it, if only to break the obstinate silence that lingered between them.

Byakuya set his cup carefully on the table, letting his critical gaze rest on the other shinigami for a long moment before replying, "Informative." Despite Renji's casually reclined form, it was easy to tell that the other man was far from relaxed. He oozed repressed energy and something the elder could only discern as mounting stress or agitation in the way he kept _fidgeting_. "And yours?"

"Meh, I had to run basic training with a hangover," the other man caviled and pushed himself into a more proper sitting position.

"That can be easily remedied by not spending the night drinking until you can't stand," Byakuya offered.

"I could too stand!" Renji protested for the sake of argument.

Byakuya merely arched a single eyebrow.

"Bah! You're impossible, you know that, Taichou?" It would have had more affect if he wasn't grinning. He was gifted with a slight upturn at the edges of the noble's lips, which would have been more appreciated if the rest of the man's demeanor reflected the emotion. Renji shook his head at the man next to him, smirking at the incongruencies still very much apart of the other. Even in the safety of his own apartment, door locked and windows shuttered, the noble was slow to return Renji's relaxed air.

Silence descended once more; Renji unable to come up with further conversation topics and his captain seemingly preoccupied with a thought he didn't care to share just yet. The tension was creeping in again; making the red head wish, not for the first time, that he could somehow divine the source of such things as his companion chose to keep to himself and allow fester unsaid between them. With a sigh, he rose effortlessly to his feet and made for the kitchen and a refill for their tea when his captain's smooth baritone suddenly broke the silence.

"Wait."

Renji paused, standing next to the man and turned to face him more completely. "Taichou?"

"Please sit," Byakuya continued and looked up at him. Renji plopped down where he was without thinking, his gaze settled on the other man. "Apparently, there have been some… rumors as of late concerning your chances of promotion-"

_Not again…_ Renji sighed loudly, "Taichou, I-"

"Let me finish," Byakuya interrupted, waiting just long enough for the other man to close his mouth before continuing. "I don't know what decision you may or may not have come to, however I would hope you would… inform me of it before taking any actions regarding it."

"What makes you think I'm even considering it?" Renji replied, a little miffed at the direction the conversation had immediately taken.

"Why shouldn't you? If you consider the competition, it's not an impossible enterprise," Byakuya countered in a carefully calculated tone.

"If I…" Previously neutral auburn eyes narrowed suddenly as Renji snapped back to his feet and stalked to the other side of his living room, jaw clamped tightly as a sluice gate before a flood. When he reached the other end he paused, closing his eyes and took a deep breath; visibly trying to calm himself.

"Renji-"

"Stop. Just stop." It was all Renji could do to keep malice from the sharp command. Spinning on his heel, he stalked back to the other side of the room, snatched Zabimaru from the floor and headed for the door. "Don't wait up," he managed civilly and forced himself to leave before he could say something he'd regret later.

-----

The gash was horribly jagged even though the blade held a clean edge. Renji panted slightly, staring at the rent Zabimaru was still embedded in. Then wrenched the sword free of the half destroyed tree trunk and with an angry growl sliced at the other side. The pattern continued on, interspersed only with harsh thoughts and intelligible growls. Of _course_ something had to happen! Renji would have sworn that someone 'up there' enjoyed screwing with him if he wasn't technically already 'up there' and fairly certain that it was somehow his own damn fault. Like everything else. He hacked at the tree with renewed vigor, shaking so hard that a particularly hard swing managed to lodge his zanpakutou far enough into the wood for him to lose his grip and stumble for balance before giving up and landing roughly on the ground.

"Damnit, damnit, damnit!" He slammed his fist sideways against the tree, and suddenly slumped loosely against it like a rubber band stretched so thin that it finally snapped.

"Damn what?" A familiar feminine voice demanded from behind him.

Renji sighed and banged his head against the tree, eyes closed and not turning around. "What the _hell_, Rukia? Any normal person would understand th' concept of leavin' a guy alone when he's beatin' a tree!"

"Hn, you're just upset it was me instead of Ni-sama," Rukia huffed, crossing her arms even though Renji wasn't watching.

"_Rukia-_"

"Oh no – it's fine! I understand! Lover boy can't be bothered to visit or even say 'hi' to his old friend It's okay, I'm sure you have much better things to do. Ni-sama must keep you busy, after all – ah, or is it Byakuya now?" She grinned mercilessly down at him.

"I'm not in the fucking _mood_, Rukia-" Renji growled before he was interrupted again.

"Oh? Renji, you're _brooding_," she snickered and nudged him with her right foot, enjoying the frustration rolling off her old friend in waves. "What's wrong? Couldn't pull Ni-sama away from paperwork?"

"Damnit, Rukia, would you lay off!" Renji snapped, finally moving to glare over his shoulder. "If I'd known you'd be easy enough about me an' yer brother to fucking badger me _this much_ I never woulda' let ya' find out!"

Rukia paused, and then frowned down at the other shinigami hunched quite miserably on the ground in front of her. "What makes you think I wouldn't be?"

Renji grumbled under his breath and finally stood up, running a hand over the top of his hair as he turned around to face his rather diminutive friend. "Why are ya'?" he countered, "I didn't expect ta' tell ya' 'cuz I thought it'd be a little… awkward."

"Yeah, well, the most 'awkward' part was how I found out, so that was pretty much covered," Rukia muttered, fighting down a blush by glaring up at Renji instead. "But it actually makes things easier for me now," she continued on valiantly, glare eventually softening when she wasn't trying so hard not to blush.

Renji sighed and nodded lightly, understanding most of what she wasn't saying. It seemed like another Kuchiki trait she'd adopted over the years: it felt like no one in that house ever said entirely what they wanted to get across. It didn't really help make his day any better, though. It was hard to believe how good he'd felt just a few days ago considering how complicated things were now.

"So what _are_ you doing out here, anyway?" Rukia prodded, dragging him out of his unpleasant thoughts. "Ni-sama told the staff not to make him dinner tonight: I assumed he was going to be with you."

"He was," the red head grumbled, wondering how the hell Rukia managed to pin point the exact problem without even knowing what it was in the first place.

_Oh boy._ "Two days? _Two days!_ That _has_ to be a record!" she exclaimed, somewhere between disbelief and cajoling.

Auburn eyes looked to the sky as if searching for some blessed help for once. The sky stayed unhelpfully unchanging. Renji muttered under his breath and dropped his gaze. "It ain't my fault," he defended immediately, "_he's_ the one who fucking pissed _me_ off."

"What the hell'd you argue about? _Paperwork_?" Rukia asked, mystified. She couldn't think of a thing that would have ended up with Renji this upset and not at fault as well.

Renji stared. "You didn't hear?"

"Hear what?"

If she really was the only person who didn't know, he was going to hunt down Irony and punch her. Hard. "… 'bout my Ban Kai?"

Rukia looked more than a little confused, obviously not connecting the two trains of thought to the same conversation. "Of course I heard about that. Ukitake-taichou asked me about it during lunch. What-"

Renji cut her off. "Wait – what did he ask you about?"

"He wanted to see if I knew anything about when you achieved it and if you were planning to… do… anything…" she trailed off, a possible connection suddenly occurring to her. "You're not applying are you?" she demanded incredulously, looking intently up at him.

Renji threw his arms up in exasperation. "Why does everyone think that I should!"

"Uh… because it makes sense?" Rukia ventured. When she received no immediate response she added, "And if you're not, how does this have anything to do with you and Ni-sama getting into a fight?"

"We didn't _fight_," Renji ground out.

"Then why are you out here brooding like you were!" she shot back in annoyance.

"I'm not _brooding!_" he insisted.

"So the tree just pissed you off?"

"_Rukia-_"

"Or is this some sort of weird 'Ban Kai' training that I should inform the rumor mongers of so they'll have something else to tag on to 'Did you hear Abarai-'"

"I'm not fucking good enough!" Renji bellowed suddenly, stopping Rukia mid-sentence. "I'm not fucking good enough and he knows it! He's known it ever since he fucking beat me the first time and he sure as hell knows that I'm _still_ not good enough! He knows and he _still_ told me to apply, because maybe they're just fucking _desperate_ enough to take me anyway!"

Rukia's eyes widened at the outburst, "Renji-"

"He's not _stupid_, Rukia! He knew exactly what he was saying! 'You're not good, but you're good _enough._'" Renji's voice cracked and he spun around, violently slamming his fist into the tree Zabimaru was still embedded in, needing to expend some energy before he burst.

It took her another moment of deafening silence to recover from the sudden verbal explosion. She shook her head lightly, trying to make sense of everything she'd been told and slowly began putting the pieces together. "Renji," she began, putting a hand on his left arm, "that can't be right. It doesn't make any sense-"

He laughed harshly, "Don't fool yourself, Rukia, there aren't many different ways you can take, 'if you consider the competition'!" His imitation of his superior officer managed to make the mocking quote sound haughty while maintaining his simmering rage.

"But why would he want you to _leave_?" she pressed, grabbing his arm tightly enough to tug him around to face her. "_That_'s what doesn't make sense. He couldn't honestly mean that, Renji, think for second! _Anyone_ who knows you, knows something like that would piss you off."

Renji frowned down at her. "That makes even _less_ sense. Why would he purposely tick me off?"

She punched him. Honestly, was he really _that_ senseless? "Oi! Are you even listening here!"

"-the hell! You fucking punched me! I'm standing here freakin' _confiding_ in ya' and you _punch me_! What the _hell_, Rukia!" Renji snapped, rubbing the left side of his face.

"Well if I can't talk sense into you, I'll beat it in!" She flared. "Now shut up and listen! Are you applying to be a captain?"

"I already told ya' I'm not!" he barked indignantly.

"And the best way of ensuring you don't consider it would be implying you wouldn't get the position based on your ability!"

Renji paused. In a strange, twisted way, it made horrible, horrible sense. "… He told me to apply to make sure I didn't?" he canvassed confusedly.

Rukia nodded.

"That… is fucking _devious_."

Rukia sighed and massaged her temples. "It's who Ni-sama is, Renji. Can you really imagine him just asking you to stay?"

Renji exhaled slowly, and then shook his head slightly. "I shoulda' figured that out."

"No kidding," Rukia muttered.

The red head ignored the commentary for the moment, choosing instead to lean back against the tree he had previously brutalized and cross his arms thoughtfully. "… Leaving Sixth Division just means we'd see each other a little less," he stated finally. "That can't be the only reason he's against me applyin'."

"Of course not." Rukia crossed her arms again and rolled her eyes at the denseness of her companion. "You really need to get better at this, you know, I'm not playing therapist for you all the time."

"If you're not going to be helpful, leave." An eyebrow twitched.

"Do you have any idea how old he is?" Rukia posed.

"… No."

"How about how long he's been in the Gotei 13?"

"Can't say I've asked."

"How long he was a vice-captain?"

"Nope."

"What about the Kuchiki clan?"

Renji shrugged, "What about them?"

"Do you know how many of them ever made captain?" Rukia prodded.

"… I know he's the strongest leader the clan's had," Renji half answered.

Rukia sighed. This was going to take a while. "If it took you years beyond years to obtain something and someone else managed to do the same thing in a fraction of the time, wouldn't that make you feel a little inadequate?"

"… I think you've got that a little backwards, Rukia," Renji muttered.

"Oi, do I have to punch you _again_?" she growled threateningly. He glared. "Just think about it. Even if he could blame the promotion on lack of competition, he still knows as well as anyone else it'd only make you that much more determined to surpass him that much earlier." She paused to let that sink in.

Renji straightened and turned around to yank Zabimaru out of the tree. "Even if that's true, I don't see why I always have to be the one to settle," he growled lowly and turned back around. "Why am I the one that has ta' figure everything out, eh? Why's it up to me to do anything about it? What the hell happened ta' meeting someone half way?" He demanded.

Rukia blinked, not having expected that response.

"So what if he's upset about it? I'm fuckin' pissed over the whole damn thing and it never would have been an issue if he had just listened to me from the beginning!" Renji continued bitterly. "So thanks for th' pep talk an' all, but I think I'd rather drink to my fucked relationship… 'least sake doesn't punch me in the face."

-----

"… It's _blue_." Renji eyed the drink doubtfully, seriously reconsidering his decision to leech his friend's alcohol supply.

"Of course it's blue: I couldn't just give you any _bland_ drink, what kind of friend would I be?" Yumichika huffed over the counter as he went to mix more of the liquid.

"A sane one?" Renji muttered, dubiously picking up and examining the tall, thin glass filled just below the brim with cobalt blue liquid, and topped with a perky little pink umbrella.

Yumichika sighed dramatically and poured a second glass. "Just drink it… you might actually like it."

Alcohol was alcohol… right? The red head slipped the umbrella out of his drink and placed it on the counter before knocking back the tall glass in one long draught. The fifth seat muttered something about how coarsely he was treating such a beautiful drink, but Renji was too busy attempting to discern the decidedly _fruity_ taste that over powered the burn of alcohol in his mouth. He swallowed and tossed a rather confused look across the counter. "What th' hell was that shit?"

"You didn't like it?" Yumichika fairly pouted.

Renji grumbled. "Alcohol ain't s'posed ta' taste like _fruit_!"

"Perhaps it was too delicate for your palate," the other man pondered out loud, glancing at the other bottles of assorted alcohol and whatever turned alcohol blue in front of him.

"Less blue shit, more alcohol," Renji grunted.

"Fine, fine, you needn't be so rough about it." More clear liquid was added to the mix which was then shaken and poured into the same glass.

Now it was light blue. Renji tossed it back, wincing when the hard alcohol hit the back of his throat, and swallowed with a grin. "That's more like it."

"If you keep going at that rate, you'll be useless in an hour," Yumichika sighed as he made another drink for his friend.

"That's the plan," Renji answered brashly, but without any real enthusiasm. He leaned forward on the counter, swinging his empty glass around slightly as he watched the preparation of another drink.

"… Are you going to tell me why?" Yumichika asked softly, carefully keeping an eye on the vice-captain lounging unhappily on his counter.

"Bad day," Renji groused.

"So you mentioned," Yumichika continued, pouring Renji another glass worth of the light blue mixed drink. The red head hadn't needed to mention it, of course, since the look on his face alone had been enough to make the fifth seat come between him and drinking himself into a coma in some run down Rukongai pub, which was simply too repugnant an action to allow. But, Yumichika had yet to get the reason for said bad day out of the stubborn man. "How bad?" he tried.

Renji drank a little slower this time, obviously undecided as he watched his friend-turned-bartender. "Really bad."

It couldn't be more obvious that he needed to talk to someone, nor more obvious that he didn't think he could. Yumichika shook his head lightly and continued the interrogation and mixed drinks, knowing the combination would eventually make his friend spill his heart out. "Worse than losing?"

"Worse than achieving ban kai, immediately losing your next fight even with it, nearly dying _twice_, nearly having half yer friends die, nearly losing your only family, almost watching the end of Seireitei, and failing to prevent any of it." It might have been an exaggeration, but he was beyond making an accurate analysis, and he felt like making a point.

Yumichika winced slightly and tipped off Renji's glass. Okay, so maybe it was worse than he'd initially thought. What was it that Renji wanted so badly to forget that he was willing to drink himself into coma and shirk his duties for the next few days by not showing up at work because of it? For as long as he'd known the vice captain, Yumichika could never remember a time when the man had seriously considered ditching his responsibilities. Now, on top of that, Renji was equating today, which the fifth seat was fairly certain had not heralded any near disasters, to the day he _knew _Renji considered to be the worst day he'd ever lived through? Surely this couldn't all be blamed on those rumors about Renji's intent for promotion. Ikkaku had said the red head was unnecessarily angry about them, but even that couldn't explain the frustration and pain weighing down the shoulders of the man across from him.

"You sound like a man who just learned his love was unrequited," Yumichika commented wistfully.

Renji stared at him for a moment and then downed the rest of his drink and looked away.

Yumichika arched a gracefully feathered eyebrow. Had his commentary drawn closer to the source than his previous ponderings? "You're seeing someone?" he asked calmly, despite being desperately curious. Renji in a real relationship: this he had to see.

"Sort of," came the gruff reply. The tall glass was shoved towards him, even though Renji still wasn't looking at him.

He refilled it. "Sort of? How can you be sort of seeing someone?"

"It's complicated, I…" The red head sighed and finally turned back to him, seemingly sedated by the topic of conversation. "Look, just forget I said anything: it probably won't even matter by tomorrow anyway."

Yumichika furrowed his brow in confusion and thought, frowning lightly. "Why do you say that, Renji?"

"It's all fucked up." He downed the rest of his drink fast and passed the glass back to his host, leaning on the counter more as the alcohol finally starting to kick in. "I don't know. I finally found somethin' – and I probably just screwed it all up. _He's_ the one who pissed _me_ off, but somehow, it's gotta be my fault. 'Cuz the world would fuckin' end if it wasn't my fucking _fault_."

Yumichika filled the glass again, silently watching his friend nurse the drink. That Renji was involved with another man didn't phase him much, he'd known the vice captain long enough to know his preferences. It was one of the charming things about Renji: he understood that beauty could come in many forms. No, what really surprised him was the emotion the red head had so obviously invested in the relationship already. It had to have been nearly brand new. Renji, while being stubborn enough not to reveal with whom he may have been involved with, was absolutely horrible about keeping the fact that he _was_ in relationship a secret. At least, that was the case between the two of them. His other friends might be dense enough not to notice, but Yumichika could read him easily.

"Ne, Yumichika…"

The fifth seat blinked lightly and turned his full attention back to his friend. "Mmm?"

"Do ya' think I'm good enough ta' be a captain?" Renji asked quietly, obviously deep in thought.

"… Why do you ask?" Yumichika questioned instead of answering.

"Everyone keeps sayin' it makes sense, or that I should be promoted, or whatever because some fucking fourth division whelps couldn't keep their mouths shut," Renji muttered. "And I just- I mean, being able to Ban Kai doesn't mean I _should_ be a captain. I know that! So why'd they have ta' bring it up? Why'd they… why'd Kuchiki Taichou even have to mention it? He could've let it be. He knew, Yumi, he fuckin' _knew_ it wasn't good enough – I'm not good enough and he _still_ brought it up! He _still_ had to fuckin' _say it_."

Yumichika tried to catch up with the rapid change of topics. "You're upset because Kuchiki Taichou told you not to apply?" he hazarded.

Renji shook his head furiously, "He said I should," his demeanor soured more as he straightened in his chair. "'cuz I'd have little to no real competition and there're three fucking seats, so it's a good fucking _chance._"

The more some things were explained, the less sense they made. Yumichika frowned again stopped mixing another drink, voicing his thoughts almost immediately. "I thought the two of you… had come to terms?" It was his understanding that the captain and vice captain of the sixth division were finally getting along. So then, why would the noble say something like that to Renji?

"Oh yeah, we're getting along _famously_," Renji replied, folding in on himself again, leaning on the counter for support. "So well, in fact, he felt like fuckin' messin' with me just ta' keep me around. Damnit!" The loud thud of a fist meeting the wooden counter top accented he swear. "Why do I have ta' fuckin' _decode_ him? Yer jus' not supposed ta' pull this kind of shit!"

Yumichika watched with wide eyes as Renji seemed to crumble in front of him, bending over the countertop and sagging on to it. He didn't need anything more to put the pieces together, but the end result was still startling to say the least. Calmly, he placed his hand on the forearm Renji wasn't resting his head on and asked only, "What did you do after he said that?"

"Nothing," Renji mumbled into the counter top. "I left before I said somethin' – I – "

"You didn't want to get into a fight," Yumichika surmised. Renji looked up then, a little surprised. "But it will only get uglier the longer you stay away from confrontation, Renji." The red head grunted slightly, acknowledging but not wanting to at the same time. Yumichika shook his head lightly. "What happened to your spirit? It's not like you to run from a fight."

"I'm not _running-_"

"Yes you are," Yumichika cut in sharply, catching the auburn gazed and holding it. "And the longer you do, the worse things will become. You have the right and hopefully you haven't lost your will to demand better. If you think you've been wronged, _be upset_, Renji! But most of all _do something about it_! Being afraid of breaking what you already have is only going to cause more stress." Renji turned away then, tensing up again. Yumichika held tighter to his friend's arm and made him turn around again. "You haven't finished your drink."

Renji paused for a moment, watching Yumichika as if waiting for something else to be said. When nothing came, he relaxed in his chair and nodded lightly, taking the glass again.

-----

A slight breeze dried the thin layer of ink, and placed a single sakura petal on the paper. Byakuya slowly arched an eyebrow and set his brush aside carefully. There were no open windows or doors, nor was his desk anywhere near his private garden, but he didn't need that knowledge to identify the gentle waves of spiritual energy that wafted about the room, carrying the faint scent of blooming sakura with it. He gently plucked the petal from the paper in front of him and observed it instead of turning around. "It has been a long time since you've manifested."

"It has been a long time since I could breathe enough to," a gentle voice answered its inflections and tone neither distinctly masculine nor markedly feminine.

The noble considered the small, velvety gift in his hand, noting the way the petal curved and the subtle changes in color and texture towards where it had been detached from its flower. "You can now?" he asked quietly.

"I preferred the rain to the ice," it replied, waves of energy rippling gently forward as it drew near. "But I preferred the fire to both."

Byakuya let himself be buffeted by the familiar power, and closed his eyes to feel the new warmth in the ancient strength. "Fire can be more dangerous than both."

"More dangerous than anything," it agreed amiably. A pair of faintly glowing arms encircled his shoulders, its ethereal touch tugging gently against his pristine white haori. The combined sensations of enduringly powerful spiritual energy wrapping around him and a body resting against his own acted as gentle sedatives to his tense form. "We burn to feel the power of life. Let me be consumed in fire, that I may know the warmth of happiness again."

"Your riddles should remain that," Byakuya only answered, his voice barely traveling the distance between them.

"I never spoke riddles; you merely grew to understand true meaning," the voice spoke, barely a whisper against his ear.

"Then I am faulted again," the noble replied steadily. "Is that what you wished to show me?"

A gentle chuckle floated past him. "Water still parts before you, lest it hinder your path. Turn such determination inwards again. Grant me the heat of your soul as I grant you the edge of mine. I ask no more than that."

Dark eyes opened part way, watching the shadows bend across the wall in front of him. "You do not make requests," the shinigami observed quietly.

"I _did_ not make requests," the being corrected gently. "Yet have I spoken since you mastered me?"

"You said you could not breathe, would that not also imply a lack of speech?" Byakuya countered.

"I was drowning when you won me, yet still I spoke." The arms tightened their embrace as if in warning. "I have been frozen since; you expect me to ignore the first fire to light my world since then?"

"Rekindle it, then?" he queried softly.

"If it were already extinguished, I could not be here to commune with you," the voice answered. "Do not let it fade away."

-----

The main room of Renji's apartment was the cleanest it had ever been. Everything that had a place was in it; everything that didn't was in some other room. He'd even managed to find a spot for the plant Yumichika had insisted on giving him to "enliven the understated beauty of plain walls and tatami mats". Whatever that meant. In fact, the only thing seemingly out of place were the stacks of paper piled around his all-purpose table which the red head was using as a substitute to the desk he daily excavated from layers of a never ending stream of paperwork. The sheer amount that had accumulated over the last two days alone would have been baffling if Renji didn't already know that it was due to the slack a sudden lack of three captains and two vice captains caused. It was because of all this work and continued relapses into thoughts he'd rather be rid of that he didn't notice the familiar reiatsu until it quite literally walked through his front door.

Renji's head jerked up at the sound of his door opening, already partially standing when he registered who it was that was calmly closing the door behind them. "… Kuchiki Taichou…" he trailed off, letting the suddenness of the moment fade a bit before he continued, "Oi! You could at least knock!"

Byakuya turned around again only after ensuring that the door was once again locked and said only, "If I had knocked, you could have avoided letting me in."

"… Th' freakin' _point_ of closin' a door is ta' keep people – that door was locked!" Renji stuttered, half irrationally angry and half simply shocked.

"Not very well."

"That ain't the point!" Renji exploded, still far too upset from both the previous day's events and that morning's resultant hang over to try to seem calm in the least. "If I don't want to talk ta' ya', it's my choice to slam the damn door in yer face!"

"Is that why you avoided work today?" The noble questioned calmly, his gaze never straying from the other man.

"I wasn' avoiding _work_," Renji growled lowly and gestured to the low table in front of him, "I was avoidin' _you._"

"And if I allowed you to continue to do so, what good do you expect to come of it, Renji?" Byakuya asked, still calm, but letting his voice drop the demanding tone it usually carried.

"Then maybe I'd be able ta' think of something ta' tell ya' rather than bein' pissed about some _else_ you did like walkin' in here like ya' own th' place when you know damn well that I'm still pissed at you!" Renji rounded the table, closing the distance between them suddenly and grabbed his captain by the haori, momentarily gratified by the slight widening of the man's eyes at the action. "It ain't right," he continued, lowering his voice. "Don't tell me I'm 'worth it' if I ain't worth your respect. Don't fuckin' think you can play with me like that and don't you _dare_ think that I'm gonna just leave. I _said_ that I wasn't gonna to apply: I ain't gonna lie to ya' and I don't play games. I respect ya' too much for that. At least give me the same in return."

For a long moment, no response came. Byakuya's expression shifted slightly from mildly surprised, past his previously aloof mask, to something more natural which held more than merely one emotion. "…You're right."

Renji blinked and loosened his grip a bit, not sure he'd heard right.

Byakuya's lips twitched up at the corners, watching Renji's reaction. He meanwhile brought his hand up to Renji's wrist, intent on dislodging his lieutenant's hold on him. "That is why I did not want to give you the chance to shut me out. I should not have said what I did: I came to rectify that."

"You…" Completely ignoring his captain's subtle attempts to remove his hand, Renji tightened his grip again and grinned. "You're damn right." With another sharp, unexpected tug, he was gifted with a last brief look of surprise skittering across the noble's features before he claimed the man's lips in a deep and demanding kiss.

Unexpectedly, Byakuya returned the kiss almost immediately despite his initial surprise. Renji smirked and broke the kiss early, unwilling to let the moment pass without teasing his captain at least a little. "Miss me that much, Taichou?"

"… If I said 'yes'…?" The noble answered, epicurean in a moment.

Renji returned the look, hooking his hand around the knot on the front of Byakuya's sash and using the leverage to pull the other man close. "We wouldn't make it to th' bed."

"I shouldn't answer, then."

-----

He hadn't really had a chance to notice before, but there was something infinitely gratifying about the way his captain's spirit energy would simmer at a low thrum for a long while after they'd lain together. It was like an unconscious purr, brushing against him occasionally as it rumbled on contently. Renji smirked at the thought, trailing his fingers lightly down his companion's neck absently.

"You're grinning," Byakuya pointed out, speaking for the first time since they'd made it to the bed.

"Mm… just thinkin'," Renji murmured, shifting his gaze to meet the other man's easily. He adjusted his position a bit, supporting his head with his right hand and let his gaze slide appreciatively over the rest of the noble's body as well.

"What about?"

"You."

"You find me amusing?" Byakuya queried softly, his voice pointedly lacking any accusations.

Renji smirked at him and dipped his head to gently kiss the man's neck. "I like your reiatsu right now."

The noble contemplated that as he tilted his head to the side a bit, allowing Renji better access. "What about it?" he finally asked in return.

"'s like you're purrin'…" The red head sighed in response, trailing his lips up to nip gently at a soft earlobe.

The reiatsu shifted momentarily, but then continued on as it had been, the only acknowledgement Byakuya gave to the statement.

Renji sighed and pulled back enough to look at his companion. "What're you thinkin' about, Taichou?"

An elegant black eyebrow arched at the blunt question. It was amazing how easily his lieutenant had picked up on his moods. On some level, even a bit disturbing to the normally solitary man. After a moment's consideration, however, he found he didn't mind nearly as much as he thought he should. "Senbonzakura was whispering."

Renji gave him an odd, almost confused look. "Your sword?"

"Yes." Byakuya's lips twitched into an almost smirk.

" … Yer sword talks to you during sex?"

"After," the noble corrected, growing more amused at the way Renji's expression went from confused to something close to paranoia.

"… An' that… doesn't bother you?"

"No."

Renji muttered something under his breath and tried to relax against his pillow again. "If Zabimaru ever did that … che, too freakin' weird."

"Why is that?" Byakuya turned to face his companion, a hand gently tracing the dark outlines of tattoos.

Renji smirked at the small gesture, and replied, "Maybe it's different for ya', but I don't think I could have a serious after sex conversation with a baboon if I tried."

Byakuya smirked faintly. "Senbonzakura is… an interesting conversationalist. If it weren't for their words I might not have pursued you today."

"Your sword beat some sense into ya'?" Renji grinned, far beyond amused at this point.

"I don't recall Senbonzakura ever 'beating' me," Byakuya drawled, "but it was quite insistent that I not sit passively this time."

"I'm glad you didn't," Renji stated softly, leaning forward to catch Byakuya's lips in a firm but gentle kiss. The noble returned it easily, his hand stilling against the designs covering Renji's chest.

"As am I," Byakuya breathed as they parted.

**Omake**

The original line was:

… _Renji smirked at the small gesture, and replied, "I only know what Senbonzakura feels like, so maybe it's different for ya'…"_

What my beta did with this sentence:

… _Renji smirked at the small gesture, and replied, "I only know what Senbonzakura feels like when its implanted into me, so maybe it's different for ya'…"_

Which leads to this fun little scene:

_Renji: Ack not there! _

_Byakuya: Oh:jabs:_

_Renji: Don't impale me _

_ "Impaled" _

_Renji: … Look what you've done!_

_Byakuya: You didn't seem that upset last time._

This is why editing is a good thing.


	6. A Petal's Edge

**Title: **A Petal's Edge**  
Rating:** MPAA: NC-17, Fiction Rating: MA  
**Pairing/Character/s:** ByakuyaxRenji, Senbonzakura, Ikkaku, ByakuyaxHisana, Rukia, Ukitake  
**Disclaimer:** The author holds no license of nor makes claims to any of the characters, concepts, or story the above originated from in any way. The characters are used without permission of the original creator for the sake of entertainment only. No profit is gained from the writing found hereafter, nor any personal credit taken for the character designs, personalities or concepts stemming from the original story used. All situations below, unless otherwise stated, have no bearing on the creator's original work, and are solely the creation of the author based on personal interpretation of the above mentioned works or are parodies exempted from copyright laws. It is the responsibility of the reader to observe all warnings before proceeding to the fiction below, as it may contain any number of situations, themes, ideas, views, or lifestyles not suitable for those under the age of 18 or which may be contrary or offensive to the beliefs of some. In the event that the following is the author's original work, or contains an original character, the author holds the copy write and should be contacted before either is used or distributed in any way. All questions and comments concerning the written work or otherwise can be made directly to the author.  
**Warning/s:** Man Sex. Also various spoilers all over the damn place, including the most recent manga chapters (if you read really closely).  
**Word Count: **13,416**  
Summary:** "The faster you run, the less that which you leave behind changes; the farther away, the more like a star it becomes. The more we defend ourselves from things beyond our ability to control, the greater the resemblance until we are all as stars: seemingly close, yet completely isolated."  
**Author's Note: **Wow, this thing is a monster. I hope there is no longer any question as to why I consider all these fictions separate stories in their own right. As for the story itself, well, it was inspired by chapter 195. That's right, this is a chapter 195 story. You have been warned. On the up side, however, I like to think that it's a bit more in depth than merely focusing on that chapter. Everything here happens the day before, with the story concluding approximately on hour prior to 195.

It took me a _long_ time to write this, and guess what all that extra time added. Endnotes. That's right. It is _impossible_ to write more than a few sentences for Senbonzakura without references. I have provided all nine of them at the end of this story. That having been said, yes, Byakuya's zanpakutou does make a _significant_ appearance in this story. No, I have not given it a gender yet; feel free to insert one as needed. On a partially related note, I managed to cross-reference Byakuya and Inoue. Ten points if you catch it without reading the endnotes.

Most of this story is told from Byakuya's point of view. This is part of the reason why it took so long. Despite this, I tend to switch viewpoints when there's a lot happening in the scene. I don't believe I've used this style in my Bleach writings yet, so I figured I'd warn you. Also be warned that Byakuya's point of view, according to me, tends to not only be very conflicting but also quite poetic. I recommend a good dictionary, in other words.

One final thing before you lose an hour or so to this story: this will be my last ByaRen fiction until Kubo progresses the story further. If you've read my previous work, you probably know by now that I prefer scribbling between the lines of canon. Well, with that being the case, there really isn't anything left to write until one of three things happens: Byakuya is reintroduced to the story, Renji dies, or the story arc is completed. I hope for the first, but with Kubo Tite, anything is possible.

**A Petal's Edge  
**"_It is at the edge of a petal that love waits."  
- Unknown_

Wind tore violently through his clothes, slicing angrily through the thin cloth. It viciously invaded the airy uniform, tearing at the tightly folded gi and loose hakama, daring even to rip at the pristine white haori, seemingly intent on mutilating the rank laden cloth. Yet no matter how it lashed exposed skin or fruitlessly attempted to rend inky black hair from the constricting grasp of nobility, the zephyr remained unacknowledged. It parted reluctantly, unwilling to let the shinigami pass through so quickly and with such little regard, yet was capable of little more than tattering previously immaculate clothing and howling past unhearing ears, unable to match the frenzied cacophony within.

War raged; thoughts and emotions clashed in vociferous uproar. Something long since dead had awoken and clawed its putrid way to the surface of tumultuous thoughts, demanding to be known once more. The noble sped up, flashing from the end of one walkway to the railing of another three levels up, turning as he briefly pushed off the wooden structure to land more firmly on the roof of another. Such things were better left in the past. Such things weren't meant to be disturbed. Such things… a layer of ice slammed into the monstrosity within, spreading around the unwanted and certainly unfounded emotion until it was properly covered.

"Is there a gain in this?" A familiar voice danced through his mind, easily slipping through the layers until it gained conscious recognition.

Byakuya knew he couldn't ignore it, yet he had no desire to answer that voice just now. His pace quickened, no longer letting his heel touch the ground before he moved on. Whispers wound up from the pits of his soul; cloying defiantly in his mind the longer he refused the answer. The monster growled and strained, for now unable to resurface, but still straining. The noble almost closed his eyes at the inner turmoil, but forced them to remain open by sheer willpower. He refused to be ruled by his emotions; to let this irrational anger wind any tighter around him than it already had.

"Cutting the pole unseen is still cutting the pole.1" It whispered again, power becoming more pronounced as the being slid closer to manifestation; pale pink flower petals already floating past on the breezeless air.

"It is not a matter of advice or who gives it," he breathed finally, words smothered by the wind.

"You disapprove without disagreeing, making it a matter of whom." the entity continued, heedless of the limitations of sound. "Those which see through the eyes of ages walk only softly; you know this to be true."

He hesitated, and a frown tugged the corners of sealed lips before the noble could think to stop it. "I cannot recall a time since I mastered you in which you have seen fit to chastise me so," he answered finally, blindly ignoring the mental strain the entire situation was forcing on him.

"It was not a coward who mastered me."

The ice cracked.

The captain stopped abruptly at the threshold of his office, laying a hand on the doorframe as his abused clothing slowly fell perfectly back into position. "It is not a coward with whom you speak." The response was as cold as the accusation had been, underlying anger lacing through it.

There was a slight shift in the air around him when the voice replied quietly, "Then what causes you take such flight?"

The frown deepened. "I am not fleeing-"

"Fear has its uses, cowardice does not.2" The tonality shifted, sharpening. "Yet even for fear, none appear now."

The ice splintered.

"I have nothing to fear." Byakuya answered coldly, finally stepping into his office.

Sakura petals flew in past him and coalesced into a familiar wispy white fog which slowly began to meld into an eerily translucent form, causing the noble to pull up short, barely inside the room. The being now facing him straightened and crossed ethereally robed arms, observing the shinigami as it finished its mimicry of manifestation. Ancient power dripped in invisible currents from its slim form, curling out to blend with the captain's own and filling the air with the faint scent of sakura blossoms, bits of excess spirit energy materializing as the pale pink petals which drifted silently between them. Light permeated the small area, white and soft yet visible despite the gentle sunlight which until moments ago had poured in through the open window and warmed the now chilled space. A pair of sanguine eyes gazed challengingly at him from beneath a curtain of white hair which hung to the ground and vanished in the rising fog.

"There is no shield strong enough to defend that which has no form, nor a spear strong enough to impale twinkling objects of air.3"

Byakuya held the gaze silently for a time before purposefully turning away from the being and walking onward to his desk. "Then I shall not shed tears for the loss of either."

Calculating red eyes followed him, Senbonzakura turning to maintain its sharp gaze on the shinigami who had mastered it. "The true horror is neither the pain of emotion nor the misery of grief, but being able to feel neither. The true defeat is not then to our hearts but of them.4"

Byakuya felt another unwelcome wave of emotion wash over him. Senbonzakura always trumped him in these word games.

------

Renji glanced up and behind him, hackles raised. There were no explosions, no frantic running around, no cries for help; just something… wrong. Ignoring the many sounds of the training he was supposed to be leading, he instinctively honed in on exactly what was bothering him. Kuchiki Byakuya had a very distinctive yet also quite subtle spirit energy; still, Renji had become rather apt at recognizing it from a distance, so it hadn't occurred to him to be worried about sensing it from his current distance. What caught his attention was the energy signature mixed in with it that he was also quite intimately acquainted with: Senbonzakura.

He shouldn't have been able to tell the difference unless the zanpakutou was released. Even then, the signal wasn't quite this distinct unless it was a _full_ release. Unconsciously, Renji turned around completely to face the source of the strange feeling, straining his senses to figure out exactly what was going on. Byakuya's bankai did not feel like that: it wasn't nearly as condensed and faint. Even the noble's shikai flared a bit more. He frowned, left hand automatically settling on his own zanpakutou as he considered whether or not to investigate.

"Abarai-fukutaichou?"

Renji blinked and snapped out his revere, turning back towards the hesitant voice. "Eh? What?"

"Is, uh, is everything all right?" Rikichi inquired, subtly indicating the group of higher ranked sixth division members attempting to run training while their vice captain spaced out.

"Che," the red head frowned, watching the rather pathetic display. "Oi!" The third, fourth and fifth seats snapped their heads around, instantly recognizing the short call for attention. "Training's finished for today! Get th' assignments handed out!" Renji looked back at Rikichi, "Ya' better go check in with them. I've got somethin' ta look into."

Rikichi paused a moment, but then nodded and affected a sort of head-bob like bow before running back towards the group. With a sigh, Renji turned back around, honing in on the energy. It seemed to be coming from the sixth division headquarters, he noted absently while leaping up to the roofs he used more often than pathways and took off at a quick jog down the slanting tile. Oddly, the signals became no clearer the closer he came. No matter how hard he tried, Renji was only able to grasp the feeling of familiar power simmering under his senses. He wasn't sure whether to be worried about it or not.

The sixth division's vice captain landed soundlessly on the main pathway and quickly came upon the offices now so very familiar to him, stopping quite suddenly directly outside the main doorway. His hand was halfway to the door before his mind caught up enough to stop the action. Intensity he hadn't been able to sense until directly outside the source slammed into him with a force that made him lose his breath. A cold shiver went through him, weakening his knees before he could gulp in fresh air. This was a very potent warning; snapping and dangerous.

Renji took a deep breath and straightened, setting his jaw before sliding the door open.

"Shouldn't you be leading morning practice, fukutaichou?"

The intensity of his captain's gaze clashed heavily with the almost bored tone of voice he'd cultivated for the statement. The red head almost winced at the combination, but managed to avoid it. "I just finished," he half lied and walked in enough to close the door behind him. The air in the room was thick and carried the scent of sakura blossoms. Despite the lack of any more obvious signs of a zanpakutou's release, this did little to ease his nerves. Even more unsettling, though, was the distinct pause that followed his statement. Kuchiki Byakuya _always_ answered immediately.

-----

The unseen figure moved its bloodied gaze from captain to lieutenant, watching the man as he attempted to piece together a puzzle he couldn't yet know the entirety of. Long strands of heavy, white hair swayed like curtains as it shook its head gently at the two shinigami, fixing its weighing gaze again upon the elder. Byakuya's attention was divided; it could tell without looking. Still, watching the noble struggle so pushed it to speak, low and softly: a tone it knew to be soothing.

"We embrace the fire to live, for to live is to know pain; if we cannot hold it, we will never apprehend pleasure."

"Taichou-?" The red head finally managed, but was immediately interrupted.

"Very well then," Byakuya cut in, withdrawing a letter from the folds of his gi and setting it on the desk in front of him.

Senbonzakura frowned openly at this. It could feel the ice in its charge strain; the cracks widening even as the shinigami tried so hard to bar himself the emotion. Renji moved closer to see the envelope, obviously wary of its significance. The ice weakened at the movement; melting as the flame drew closer, if only to the eyes of an apparition. It knew all too well how forcibly its master narrowed his vision; the fear of wandering on to another path keeping everything about him tightly bound.

"You were informed of the recent reports we received," the noble continued, performance flawless.

The tone seemed to affect his subordinate, though, causing the usually relaxed shinigami to frown a bit and nod adding only, "Yeah, a' course."

Byakuya sat back a bit, appearing to be collected while his zanpakutou could easily see the desperate bid for space in the move. The frown deepened, but it kept its silence in favor of watching how the conversation progressed. "It was determined," the man continued as if reciting a mission report, "that our best course of action would be to send a forward team to investigate recent events-"

"'It was determined'?" Renji interrupted immediately, swinging all attention back to him. "Meaning you don't agree with it."

Senbonzakura smirked in approval of the young shinigami, feeling how unsettled its charge became upon realizing the other man could so easily pick apart his wording. It knew nothing but a slightly narrowed gaze would show through to the noble's frosty exterior, but inside the ice was slipping.

"Regardless of my opinion, that is the course of action we will take," Byakuya finally answered, his tone leaving little room for argument, which the other man was obviously having a hard time finding the words to contend if his frustrated sigh was any indication.

"When there are too many paths," the spirit offered, returning its sanguine eyes to their previous captive, "there is the chance to lose oneself. When there is but one, a man can avoid losing his way. The question, then, is which situation is more desirable; the risk of becoming lost or being unable to change direction?5" Dark eyes glanced at the specter involuntarily, holding its gaze as it finished.

"Even if that's true-" Renji began, instantly regaining attention and nearly speaking over the other entity without being aware of it, but unable to finish his statement once again.

"This is the path that has been chosen," Byakuya interrupted firmly, eyes settling back on the other man. "This is the path that has been chosen, regardless of my desire to follow it. As is it yours, fukutaichou; you would do well to remember that."

-----

Renji ran a hand through his hair, dislodging his hair tie in the process as he willed himself to calm down. "Don't do this, Taichou…" His voice wavered angrily. Not only was there something wrong that the other man simply refused to tell him, but he felt like he wasn't even a part of this conversation! He set his jaw, speaking through clenched teeth as he glared back at the hard eyes boring into him. "You haven't explained a damn thing, an' yer obviously upset, so just tell me what's wrong!" he bit out tightly.

The noble frowned almost disapprovingly. "The details are listed in the missive-"

"Fuck the letter!" Renji exploded, hands landing solidly on the desk between them, producing a respectable addition to his anger. "I want you to explain it! I want _you_ to explain what's got you so upset and what's so damn important that it's got yer hands tied!"

"Abarai-fuku-"

"No!" Some part of him acknowledged that he was shaking, but that same part was far too angry and confused to care at the moment. "It's not 'Abarai'! It's long past 'Abarai' and you fucking know it! Don't you _dare_ pretend that it's not! This-" he snatched the letter on the desk and shoved it in the space between them, "doesn't mean a damn thing if it don' tell me why yer _lying_ ta' me!"

The ice shattered, leaving Byakuya helpless in the wake of the monster which arose from it. He clenched his jaw, and forced his widened eyes to frost over again, using all his will to just maintain eye contact with his furious lieutenant, hoping, praying nothing of the chaos within him showed on his face. He had to get through this. He had to make it clean and unemotional or it would only be worse later.

"Taichou, you _have_ ta' explain this!" Renji, thankfully, straightened enough to gesture in exasperation, opening the distance between them. "You can't just say things an' expect me ta' understand what ya' _mean_ if ya' don't say that too!" He growled in frustration, crumpling the letter the tighter he held it. "I ain't like you: I'm not used ta' figurin' out what ya' mean and don't mean. I guess I'm just too dumb ta' understand things like that without havin' it explained to me." Here, he seemed to calm and exhaled harshly, softening his gaze a bit and looking back again. "So ya' need to tell me, okay? Otherwise… Otherwise I'm still just tearin' at my throat tryin' ta' reach ya'.6"

The fact that he was having trouble maintaining eye contact was no matter one that could be written off on the chaos inside him. He couldn't think with the cacophony of war raging inside him, but more importantly, he couldn't continue to pretend when everything he did to distance them from the situation was thrown back in his face. Grey eyes almost slipped away from the fiery man before him if not for the sudden movement of a soft, white light. Instead, the eyes traveled subtly to his left, following the path of the eidolon as it glided from the side of his desk to the immediate right of his vice captain, extending its faint glow to the flame haired man.

"The faster you run," Senbonzakura spoke in a soothing tone, facing Renji but addressing its master, "the less that which you leave behind changes7; the farther away, the more like a star it becomes. The more we defend ourselves from things beyond our ability to control8, the greater the resemblance until we are all as stars: seemingly close, yet completely isolated."

An albino hand extended to gently stroke the edge of Renji's jaw, obviously disconcerting to the young man who it seemed had only been faintly aware of the manifestation until the being touched him. Byakuya's gaze narrowed sharply, eyes darkening in anger at seeing what affected to a blade the other man could quite evidently feel pressed to his throat. Auburn eyes were widened in palpable alarm, searching out his own gaze for explanations, but finding only anger and making the shinigami once again uncertain of his actions.

"Tai… chou?" Renji cleared his throat as if to free his voice from fear and confusion before speaking.

Senbonzakura glanced back at Byakuya, otherwise unmoving, sanguine eyes challenging to the noble. The monster within him roared and sent him to his feet before he realized it, belatedly registering Renji's surprised backpedaling as a warning to reign in his emotions before he spoke. Radiating his anger rather than addressing it in words, he instead chose to speak solely to his lieutenant. His own zanpakutou had forced his hand in the matter: after that Renji more than deserved his explanation.

"In the meeting today," he began, consciously softening his gaze to lessen the unease in the room, "the recent intelligence reports were discussed; among them, the arrancar appearances. The most up to date report detailed an attack made by a pair of arrancar on several people who are thought to have had low levels of reiatsu. When they became aware of the attack, the ryoka intervened, but were pushed back until reinforcements arrived."

"Reinforcements…?" Renji echoed, immediately caught up in the explanation.

Byakuya inclined his head, "Urahara Kisuke and Shihouin Yoruichi provided back up and turned away the arrancar in question. It's unclear what prompted the attack, but it is highly probable, and generally accepted that the arrancar appearances are related to the movements of Aizen Sousuke. Because of this, Ukitake Taichou and his subordinates moved that action be taken to determine enemy strength and provide immediate support to those already involved in the living world. Of course, this entails making contact with all those capable of fighting, including all rogue shinigami, and working with them to determine the true nature of this threat, as well as engaging two arrancar of captain level fighting capability, if not more.

"Due to your… previous involvement with Kurosaki Ichigo and the remainder of his contingent, both you and Rukia were assigned to the forward team, which is to leave as soon as it has finished being assembled. Unfortunately, we were unable to immediately determine the rest of the team at the time you were assigned."

Renji was staring openly at this point, visibly sorting through all the information he was just told. Byakuya noted with no small amount of bitterness that the moment his explanation was through, Senbonzakura had stepped away from his adjunct and moved closer to his left once more. His gaze, though, remained on the flame haired man in front of him. He remained still in the following silence, afraid that any movement would conflict with his slipping grasp of his emotions.

Finally, Renji exhaled loudly and shifted his stance, left hand resting on Zabimaru's hilt, while his right held the letter up just a bit. His gaze traveled from the letter to his captain, a frown featured prominently on a face that represented only understanding. "… only Rukia an' I were assigned?"

Byakuya did close his eyes then, knowing he couldn't hold such a gaze during his answer without having pain reflected in it. "Both you and she were assigned immediately and without my consultation. I was given only the privilege of delivering the missive, after which you would return to be formally briefed."

He felt rather than saw the red head shake his head, but opened his eyes again before the other man replied. "You didn' say anything?"

The noble allowed himself a bitter smirk, knowing it was safe enough with his lieutenant. "I cannot disagree with the logic behind the decision, and therefore not with the decision. You are the most qualified personnel available."

A familiar flash of determination illuminated auburn eyes as Renji fisted his right hand around the letter and caught his captain's gaze firmly with his own. "I'm gonna take care of this, Taichou," he vowed softly and without another word spun on his heel and stalked purposely from their office.

Breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding escaped as the sixth division captain slowly sat down once more, struggling within to maintain the calm façade without. Wisps of flower-scented fog drifted past and around him as the haunting figure of his zanpakutou slowly vanished from sight, its voice lingering behind it.

"If you never take the last step, you will spend the rest of your life wondering if you would have fallen.9"

-----

"I didn't understand," Renji panted, trying to catch his breath after the long run, "before…"

Ikkaku arched an eyebrow at him, but otherwise stayed easily on the branch he was sitting on, zanpakutou leaning over him against the tree trunk.

The red head growled at the gesture and leapt up to the branch, affecting a casual crouch in front of the other man. "I mean…I said I did, but I didn'… so I guess… I guess I'm apologizin', okay?"

A grin slowly worked its way across Ikkaku's face. "Ooooh? That took some extreme measures…" He snickered.

"An' it _wasn'_ appreciated," Renji groused, but still managed to relax now that he said it. "You spreadin' all that news about my bankai just ta make a point really fucked things up fer a while."

"Ah, Yumichika did mention something-"

"Mentioned what?" Renji cut in, now more than a little leery of the affects of telling either of his old division mates _anything_.

The third seat just leaned back and laughed, shaking his head to indicate he wasn't saying anything on the matter, but spoke before his sixth division companion could get a word in edgewise. "Why're ya' panting like ya' just tore apart half th' court, eh?"

The vice captain attempted a casual roll of his eyes but it came of more embarrassed than anything else. "Got into an argument with Kuchiki Taichou." The grin on the other man's face deepened in amusement, to which Renji hastily added, "It's not like- I mean- Damnit!" He threw up his hands and glared at his friend. "What the hell did Yumichika tell ya'!" Much to his annoyance, the man only snickered. Fuming and defensive, Renji yelled, "Would ya' stop that, already! You try an' argue with him without getting impaled and see how far you get!"

Unable to contain himself any longer, Ikkaku exploded into laughter, crossing his arms over his stomach and closing his eyes to keep the humored tears at bay. Somehow, he managed to maintain his balance on the branch despite all laws of physics, and a rather darkly brooding vice captain who had since begun contemplating the good of tossing him off said branch. "Ah- ah man, that was priceless! Friggin'… Che, I think yer the only one that he 'impales' –"

"Madarame!" Renji barked, his skin quickly matching the shade of his hair, equal parts embarrassed and angry.

"Ah…" Slowly, the third seat managed to contain his laughter back down to choked sniggering, although the look on Renji's face nearly threw him back into another fit. "Che, don't look so frickin' pathetic! You really think Yumichika wouldn't have told me?"

"Did you tell anyone else?" Renji bit out, slowly calming down.

"Nah," Ikkaku smirked, relaxing back against the tree as the last of his laughter trickled off. "Bankai's one thing; that was ta' prove a point. I'm not about ta' go gossipin' like some woman about yer sex life or whatever." He waved his left hand dismissively and laid his chin in his right, resting the elbow on his knee as he watched his friend calm down. "So whatcha' really here about, eh?"

With a sigh, Renji rested his arms on his knees again, sobering a bit as he looked at Ikkaku. "You probably don't know, since ya' don't ever receive any of the messages, so try not to go blabbin' it until it's common knowledge, okay?" His only response was a slight, curious frown, but it was enough. "Look, they spotted arrancar in the living world… there was already a fight an' everything. Rukia and I were assigned to a forward team ta' go check things out and… and there's probably gonna be a lot of strong guys runnin' around lookin' for a fight."

The grin returned full force. "They haven't assigned anyone else yet, have they?"

Renji shook his head. "I'm headin' over to be briefed now, if you wanna come."

Ikkaku nodded enthusiastically and jumped to his feet. "Then let's get goin'! We'll stop by eleventh an' pick up Yumichika on the way."

A significant pause forced the energetic shinigami to glance back at his still unmoving friend, eyebrow quirked at his strange, somber mood. Renji sighed and shook his head as if to clear it, standing up as well. "Look, this ain't just draggin' Ichigo outta some other mess he got himself into. An' I know you know that, so don't say it," he quickly added before Ikkaku could interrupt him. "This could… you're not gonna be under Zaraki Taichou's command on this mission." He hoped it was enough to get his point across.

They shared a long look before Ikkaku broke it abruptly by simply stepping off the branch. He looked up from below, Houzukimaru slung over his shoulders. "You comin' or what?"

-----

Given the sword's recent prevalence in his affairs, Byakuya hadn't been expecting its absence to be so quick in coming, nor so starkly rued. Yet, faced only with the soundless night and a long missed countenance barely viewable in the uninterrupted darkness of the room, the noble found himself almost wishing for the riddles Senbonzakura chose to grace him with whenever it made itself known. Almost. In a strange way, though, the silence was both disconcerting and healing. He supposed it had more to do with the purpose of the room than anything else.

Then again, Hisana had always had a soothing affect on him.

Even looking down at him from a photograph with her unchanging, ghost of a smile in a room housing nothing but his personal shrine to the one person he had let himself really love enough to fight for, protect and yet still lose. Even after breaking his oath to that very same woman. Even kneeling there uncertain and incomplete, the weight of his responsibilities bearing down on him as he sought what would inevitably be his own council with what he could only hope to be her approval. Even fifty years after everything they almost had, he entered into her endless gaze and calmed. Even the heavy thoughts he'd gone there to debate were dissuaded by the crispness of the normally still, lifeless air that lightened a weight he'd forgotten he was bearing.

He'd never spoken his thoughts out loud. The most to be issued from him while in the room was a soft greeting or farewell accompanied by the opening and closing of the shrine doors. Tonight was no different. He'd returned home just over an hour previous: barely enough time to bathe and replace his work robes with formal ones, including the white cloak draped across his shoulders to signify his rank as head of the Kuchiki clan. A position that felt extraneous in comparison to the danger they still faced. Shinigami were at the very core of their existence nothing more than soldiers in an army without leaders – he couldn't even remember the last time they were actually given something that could amount to an actual order. They could protect the living and the dead and, in providing such a wall to the terrible things even those in the outer divisions of Rukongai could never imagine, dulled the perception of those they protected. Even within their ranks, it took years to move beyond the illusion of being society's foremost.

The more powerful you became, the more you came to see how helpless you really were.

An unacknowledged sigh escaped into the air as the noble gracefully moved to lay a stick of incense in front of the photograph. His mind just couldn't remain on the matters of the clan while the matters themselves remained anything but family oriented. Thinking of the upcoming dinner with the clan elders unfailingly returned him to thoughts of the Gotei 13 and the preparations he should be doing instead of attending formal dinners and mediating petty disputes. They were his responsibilities and standards had to be maintained, but now more than ever the effort put forth on his behalf seemed nothing more than a pained imitation of life. What good did rules and appearances do when keeping both flawlessly intact led only to your downfall? Honor would destroy them all; something it had already nearly accomplished.

Yet, it was honor, rules, and even appearances that kept them going. Without them there was nothing left to defend, no ground to stand on, nor faith to hold. Without rules to guide, ground to build on, and faith to debate, what could a man strive for? It was a concept seared into his mind since childhood. Society was the greatest achievement of humanity and if the noble houses did not maintain it, it would be lost. It was a burden to be borne with elegance and perfection: the epitome of society. If not safeguarded, there would be chaos. For this he had to hold to the rules stricter than those he watched over. For this he had to delegate, moderate, and maintain the household. For this he had to grow stronger: if need be he would carry them forward himself. The Kuchiki were the mold for everyone else to attempt to fill.

He'd broken that mold once, and never truly regretted it.

For Hisana, he'd turned his back on everything he'd been bred for and brought her into his life. Because love had been one of the pure absolutes of the world: grand, unchanging and forever. Something that went beyond his parents, the clan, and society. Something worth fighting for. It had been a brief victory. Far too brief - with only years of lonely questioning left in its wake. It was hard to remember, sometimes, that there was a balance being maintained. Most hard to remember when that balance didn't seem present at all. Yet, somehow, everything was compensated for and it was exactly that compensation that kept men from acting.

His wife died, and a year later he was gifted with a sister, something he'd never had before. Rukia tried so hard to live up to the house she'd been brought into and he never once thought to actually treat her as the sister she was supposed to be. For the first few years it was hard just to look at her. He could never replace Hisana, nor did he ever want to, and in some ways it was that lie more than anything else that stung him in her presence. It had been freeing to finally tell her the truth, but had taken the words of his own adjunct to finally let down the burden of love immutable and move forward again.

Yet, what seemed like forward motion could easily be retracing his previous steps in a cycle he could not survive again.

A cycle he refused to take part in again.

Byakuya gracefully unfolded himself from the proper seiza and gently pulled the doors of the shrine closer together, pausing when all he could see was Hisana's gentle gaze. He watched her for a moment; almost certain he could feel her presence once more. He drew a slow breath, and upon exhale felt some of the tension leave him. "Thank you, Hisana." The feeling dissipated as he closed the shrine doors completely and turned to leave the room.

A servant girl stood at the entrance to the room, and bowed when he exited. "Kuchiki-sama – "

"Inform whoever sent you that I am not receiving any messages until tomorrow morning at the earliest," Byakuya interrupted immediately.

"Right away," she replied without hesitation.

"Before that, tell the kitchen to have my dinner moved to the informal reception hall, and inform Rukia that she will be dining with me tonight," he continued.

There was a slight hesitation before the servant replied, "… And what shall I tell the Elders?"

The head of Soul Society's first noble house turned towards his own chambers, saying only, "That I have more important things to attend to."

-----

The furniture had already been replaced by the time he'd entered the room, which even to someone used to spiriting servants from one end of the estate to another as if they were all well versed in shunpo was rather impressive given that they'd managed it in only a few minutes. Byakuya had used the time to exchange his formal robes for something a little less intimidating. It earned him a second look from the servant setting the last dish of food on the table. He paused a moment, waiting for the older woman to finish her task before taking his seat at the head of the small table. Normally, the room was used for larger gatherings in the range of eight to sixteen people, and as such seemed a good deal larger now that its usual furniture had been replaced with something more suited to dinner for two. He hadn't chosen the room for its space, though; he'd wanted the cooling night air as it drifted in from the wide open doors which presented a pleasant view of the large garden wrapped around the back of the entire estate.

He was still gazing at the fading landscape when the inside door slide open, drawing his attention immediately. Rukia stood to one side of the doorway, hands still partially on the sliding door, eyes tracing invisible patterns on the carpet. "… You wanted to see me, Ni-sama?"

Somehow, she always managed to look both endlessly uncomfortable and demurely elegant in her finer kimonos. "I wanted to dine with you," Byakuya corrected, indicating with a refined gesture that she should join him at the table.

"Ah, yes… of course." Rukia offered, stepping in and closing the door behind her before walking to the table and folding herself into a seiza as if she'd been doing it her whole life.

Byakuya nodded to her briefly and poured himself some soup from the pot at the center of the table, silently indicating the start of the meal. Following his lead, Rukia quietly began adding small amounts of the dishes on her side of the table to her plate. What followed was an awkward, yet flawless dance in which both managed to circle the available entrees while allowing the other easy access to any given dish simultaneously and without passing a word between them. Each having amassed the proper amount of food needed for one serving, their hands returned to their own plates and chopsticks, quietly taking a moment to determine which food to eat first while subtly observing what the other was doing. Byakuya added some meat to a bowl of rice at the same time Rukia picked up her bowl of soup. She didn't eat any of it until the elder Kuchiki had finally partaken of his own meal.

Despite the gentle flow of outside air, there was a definite feeling of stagnation hovering about the low table and those seated at it. Rukia slowly consumed her first bowl of the spicy soup, taking the opportunity of each sip to glance across the way. It wasn't hard, at least not for someone who'd spent as many years observing the heir of the Kuchiki family as she had, to tell that something was amiss that night. Having lived as part of the clan for a few decades already, she'd become accustomed to being summoned to some function or another at the drop of a hat, however she'd also integrated herself as well as she could within the life of the noble house and knew for a fact that the head of the clan was currently disrupting that life in a very sudden and jarring manner. The reason, of course, was elusive.

She waited, taking her time to observe her brother, or brother in law, if she wished to be accurate, and attempted to piece things together. There was the obvious issue of both her and Renji leaving tomorrow, but if that was what was causing this, why was she here? And come to think of it, where was Renji? Shouldn't he be fielding this? Rukia tapped her fingers lightly around the cup she was holding, feeling a lump of nervousness settle in her stomach as the silence stretched and she was left to her own musings. He didn't look up at her. He didn't say anything or even gesture. Part of her wanted to believe he'd simply forgotten she was there, but she knew better. He wasn't acknowledging her, but he had wanted her there for a reason: was directly breaking rank to have dinner with her. There had to be _something_ worth all that, but what?

Rukia couldn't remember being this uncomfortable when left alone to ponder imminent and inescapable death, and yet here she was, fighting to keep the calm, emotionless façade demanded by the Kuchiki family name against uncertainties and insecurities roused from the simple act of dining with her brother. He'd always had that effect on her. Tonight, though, she just couldn't deal with it. Would it always take near death experiences to bring out everything he kept so tightly concealed? Hadn't she been lecturing Renji just the other day on how to deal with the stubborn noble? There had to be a reason, and she had to know, she couldn't leave without knowing.

Clutching the china cup as tightly as she dared, Rukia took a steadying breath and tentatively spoke. "…Ni-sama?" Byakuya looked up immediately, seemingly surprised by the suddenly spoken moniker, but quickly smoothed his features once more, his gaze sharp as he waited for her to continue. Rukia set down the cup firmly but carefully, afraid to drop it and did her best to hold the hard gaze. "Was there… something…?" She trailed off, resolve and nerve failing under the unflinching gaze.

For a moment there was silence and then a soft exhale of breath that could have been a sigh if she had believed him capable of it.

"You're prepared for your departure tomorrow?"

She blinked and hazarded a glance back at the noble sitting across from her. Still unflappably in a perfect seiza, expression properly schooled, hands still… and yet there was an intensity to his gaze that she hadn't noticed before. Shoring up some courage, she answered, "Twelfth Division provided us with everything we need."

"I see." Another pause followed as they watched each other, unmoving, until one sentence shattered the still air. "I expect to see you home when this is over."

Rukia stared. She couldn't help it. Never once had she heard a word even vaguely associated with care or worry come from him, let alone directed at her. Even more startling, though, was use of the word "home". In all the time she'd known him, she couldn't ever recall him using that word in reference to anything, let alone mean it so personally. "Of course!" she answered, instinctively, "I'll always come home, Ni-sama."

She was smiling, he noted carefully. It was hesitant; reminiscent of Hisana's few, hidden pleasures. Yet, it was anything but subdued. If Hisana glowed then Rukia beamed. It was like the difference between the sun and the stars. One was far away and even its brightest moments dimmed from the distance, while the other was close and warmed you with its presence. Byakuya found himself far more affected by it than he could have expected. On some level, he was aware that he should reply to her with some form of reciprocation, but hard as he tried to form them, the words escaped him. He felt at once content and overwhelmed and while he could keep both emotions from the eyes of others, they were not something he could control.

"Ni-sama?" His attention was drawn instantly back to the source of his uncooperative revelations and sentiments. "… When I come back… could we… could we do this more often?"

Rukia twisted her napkin nervously, watching for any hint of reaction. Something. Anything. Just enough to tell her that what little he had shown her of the mind behind the mask was really there and perhaps even willing to step forward once more.

"… I will arrange for it."

-----

Had he really been thinking about it, Renji would have been in awe of his own forwardness at the moment. It was one thing to disregard protocol behind closed doors, but entirely another to brazenly bypass the gate guards and servants of the Kuchiki estate without a second glance and make his way directly and openly to clan head's private chambers. Of course, the flame haired Shinigami hadn't afforded himself much thought since the briefing had ended. There'd been far too many other things to check on, arrange and take care of before he could even consider the one thing he needed and wanted to do the most. It hadn't been until night had fully settled on the land that he'd been able to walk the ornate halls of the grand estate, barely keeping himself from being lost by honing on to a spirit energy he'd become quite intimately acquainted with.

Oddly enough, the cold building seemed slithering with movement. He remained unhindered all the way until the hallway broke off into Byakuya's private wing not because there wasn't anyone to run into, but because all the servants seemed much more preoccupied than usual as they bustled about the estate in all forms of distress. Just as he slipped into the darkened hallway, however, he was stopped by a young woman who, barring him entrance, informed him that Kuchiki-sama was not accepting guests or messages until the morning. To this, Renji quite succinctly informed her that he wasn't a member of the clan and therefore not under the clan's jurisdiction. Of course, it came out rather differently, but the point was the same and sharp enough to allow him to push by her without much trouble. Finally faced with the one familiar doorway of the house, Renji paused a moment to straighten his kimono before sliding the door open and walking inside.

"You are the only person who has entered my rooms unannounced," Byakuya informed him quietly from the far side of the room, not bothering to turn from his moonlight vigil held within the doorway to his garden.

Renji smirked and closed the inner door behind him, walking closer to his captain's palely illuminated form. Byakuya had seated himself against the doorframe that led out to a shallow porch just before the grand garden that filled the back of the estate. The fading light of the moon dappled the folds of his dark emerald kimono so that they appeared to sparkle against its depths. The man's darkened back was still facing him as Renji drew close enough to reply without raising his voice. "If I said I was here you coulda' told me to leave."

"I wouldn't have," Byakuya answered simply, his gaze far off and unmoving.

Sensing the profound air surrounding the noble, Renji silently slid to the floor behind the man, just close enough to keep his presence constant, but without forcing his captain into an uncomfortable proximity. He gazed out over the dark vista, noting the differences in coloring the plants held this late at night, with such a bright moon. There were stars out too, though faint in comparison and not nearly as beautiful. It was no real question as to what had held the elder's attention for so long.

"It's still incomplete," Byakuya spoke suddenly.

Renji blinked. "Taichou…?"

"You should still be training," the noble continued, gaze slowly drifting back down to Earth.

Renji sighed a bit and leaned forward, laying his hand subtly on Byakuya's left arm. "This will be good training."

"Your reaction time needs work," Byakuya added softly, eyes trailing the floor through a myriad of unvoiced thoughts.

"I can take a few hits…" Renji answered lowly.

"Your use and defense against demon magic is completely unacceptable," the captain added, his voice dimming with each statement.

"I've made it this far."

Warm air brushed against Byakuya's ear as the response drifted by him. "You've made it this far," he agreed and fell silent for a long moment, contemplating far too many things at once. The shuffle of servants outside his door reminded him of the conversation he'd held with Rukia earlier that evening; of the unchanging thoughts broiling unhindered in his mind. He couldn't stand them. "You will make it this far again."

"Che, that's a real vote of confidence," his lieutenant scoffed at the phrasing.

"Do not prove me wrong and I will grant more faith to your skills," Byakuya replied, glancing back over his shoulder, "until then-" Renji's lips effectively silenced the remainder of his statement, pressing firmly against his own until he allowed the kiss to deepen and the younger man softened his touch. He felt himself being turned and didn't fight the motion until he had to pull away for the sake of breathing.

"I told you already, didn't I?" Renji murmured, seeking Byakuya's thought laden gaze. "I'll take care of it."

"I have every confidence that the correct people were chosen for this task," the noble answered softly, his dark gaze shifting back to meet his subordinate's heated one.

"Then stop actin' like I'm not coming back." The redhead shifted his position slightly, pulling back to sit on his heels instead of crowding the other man to the wall. A wry smirk played across his lips when Byakuya's eyes widened at his words. Renji shook his head lightly, "I'm slow but 'm not stupid, Taichou. You should know by now tha' I can tell when somethin's bothering you."

Byakuya allowed himself a slow, faint smirk. "You aren't slow, Renji." The younger man blinked a bit at his correction, obviously startled by it. "Just simple."

Auburn eyes rolled to the ceiling. "Thanks, Taichou," Renji replied sardonically.

The soft rustle of cloth heralded Byakuya's return to his feet, one hand straying against the wall as he glanced out the wide open doors one last time. Silence stretched between them, broken only by the quiet swish of loose material accompanying Renji's similar movement.

One could look at the night sky and see something permanent and unchanging in the carefully crafted patterns of stars, feeling at once the grandeur and despair of time unending. Yet change was as inevitable as night itself, and wrought itself carefully among the stars, stretching along their light to everything below. Once, he'd looked to the night sky for its unchanging stability; for the gentle light that felt like the soft gaze of his late wife. Now, he looked and was reminded only of the great distance between the sky and earth, who in all eternity would never meet十, and remembered that once, not so long ago, another man stood upon the earth and reached for the moon.

Once, not so long ago, the moon had reached back.

Byakuya dropped his gaze slowly and turned back in to the room, brushing by his lieutenant to pass into his private sleeping chambers unhindered. He paused, then, just inside the door and glanced back at the darkened outline of the usually bright young man in his antechamber. The white kimono was oddly subdued in the unlit room, though the moonlight drifting in gave the pink flower pattern on the shoulders and bottom hem of the robe a strange gleam that reminded him distinctly of falling sakura petals. The effect was offset by the barely dimmed flame of hair hanging loose over the shoulders. Vaguely, he wondered when the hair had been let down, as he hadn't noticed it earlier. Regardless of such cursory thoughts, he raised his eyebrows slightly towards the other Shinigami, silently questioning if he intended to follow.

Renji's expression didn't change much, which in itself was strange for the normally expressive Shinigami, but he did step closer and eventually follow Byakuya into the lightless room beyond, pausing once inside, to let his eyes adjust to the startling lack of moonlight. The noble moved off to the side, bending gracefully to retrieve and light a candle, before moving quickly to the other side of the room to light another, allowing for a soft, understated glow to provide just enough light to see by. A hand on his forearm directed his attention back to the younger man in the room with him. Auburn eyes held an intensity earlier hidden but now unleashed solely on the noble as their owner stepped closer.

"You really don't think I can do this, do you?"

Byakuya's eyes widened a fraction, staring back through the darkness. "Renji…"

"No. If it was you leavin', you'd think I was being foolish if I were worried." He frowned then, pulling Byakuya against him suddenly, holding the older man's gaze defiantly. "I am more than capable of handling this, Taichou. I'll prove it to you. Just you wait… I'll come back even stronger… that much closer to defeating you."

"… Is that a promise?"

"Ah. I swear it…" Renji whispered, leaning forward so their foreheads nearly touched, "… on my soul." He claimed Byakuya's lips before the noble could reply, parting them demandingly.

-----

Byakuya turned away before the doors finished closing, having no wish to have silhouettes seared into his mind until he saw them again. A slight wind signaled the gate's full departure, tugging lightly at his hair and haori, but doing little else. He began to walk away, settling recent emotions and memories under a layer of trained separation. Ignore the loss and focus on the pain. Form a box around the pleasant memories and shut them out. Carve a mask from the ice and let it overtake the pain. Move forward. On his third step, the mask slid firmly into place; the fourth would seal the box.

"Kuchiki-Taichou!"

The noble paused, and then turned back slightly, gaze landing directly on the man who had spoken his name. "Ukitake-Taichou," he answered in his normal refined parlance.

The white haired captain smiled brightly and hastened to close the distance between them. "A few of us were planning on meeting over lunch to share information, and perhaps take care of some of the extra work load we'll have now-"

"I am more than capable of handling the Sixth Division's work load on my own-" Byakuya began curtly, but found himself interrupted almost immediately.

"We were hoping you'd join us for discussion of our current situation and the currently leaderless divisions." Ukitake's smile softened slightly. "I thought you would like to have some input," he added quietly.

Byakuya's sharp gaze remained firmly on his fellow captain for a long moment, attempting to discern any meaning he may have missed from the words alone. The silence stretched on; one content to wait for an answer, the other wary to give one. But when the moment passed and Ukitake had not amended his statement, nor changed his expression, Byakuya was left with no meaning other than the one originally given and while generally wishing to distance himself from the elder captain, there was no pertinent reason for him to decline the invitation.

"… Very well."

-----

_"Sorry to keep you waiting…" Ukitake briskly offered as he entered his office, a stack of paper per hand, both of which he seemed to still be in the middle of reading. "It's more hectic that usual, I'm afraid," he sighed and finally just placed the paper on his desk, looking instead to the person he was addressing._

_Renji shrugged slightly, still standing despite the hour he'd already spent in the office. "I was warned," he answered simply._

_"… I see." The captain took a seat at his desk, gesturing for Renji to do the same, but received only a slight shake of the head for his trouble. "So what can I do for the Sixth Division?"_

_"… It's actually a personal request… Sir." The red head hoped he didn't look as awkward as he felt at that moment._

_The captain of Thirteenth Division furrowed his brow slightly at the information, momentarily wondering at could possibly bring the vice captain of his former charge seeking his help in a personal matter. "Has something happened?"_

_"Well, something like that… I mean something _did _happen, and I'm here 'cuz of it, but it wasn' anything bad… or anything." _

_Ukitake blinked. "So nothing's wrong, then?"_

_"Right."_

_"So, you need my personal help concerning a matter that does not need to be corrected?"_

_"… Yet," Renji amended, rubbing the back of his neck self-consciously. _

_"… All right…" Jyuushirou slowly sat back in his chair, watching Renji fidget nervously. "Does this have something to do with Rukia or the forward team the two of you were recently assigned to?" he hazarded._

_"No- well yes, but that's not what I think's gonna be the problem."_

_"… do I get to find out what this problem that I may be able to help fix could possibly be?"_

_Renji glanced sheepishly to the side, took a deep breath and looked forward again. "It's actually about Kuchiki-Taichou, Sir." _

_"… What ab out him?" Ukitake queried softly, worry lacing his tone earnestly._

_"It's just-" Renji exhaled sharply, frustrated with his own inability to vocalize the issue and just started talking, hoping the point would surface on its own. "We're still recoverin' from that whole catastrophe, an' everyone's got more work, an' more ta' be thinking about, I guess, but Kuchiki-Taichou – and Rukia too – really got the short end of the stick, ya' know? We got by it by th' skin of our teeth, but really… only thing that happened to most of us was a lot of battlin' and gettin' the shit kicked outta us, but Taichou – I mean, he almost had ta' kill his own sister, an' well, I don't think many of us really agreed with that, but it's not like he _wanted_ ta' do it. And when he found out what really caused all this… it's like he thought he was somehow responsible for not catchin' on or somethin'… got really torn up about the whole thing… an' the one thing he could set right was making amends with Rukia, but of course that just reminded him of his _wife_…"_

_Ukitake made a soft noise in the back of his throat that could have been a polite redirection to the topic at hand or a subdued expression of surprise. Renji wasn't sure, but it did make him pause. _

_ "Che – I gotta stop ramblin' like this – Taichou'd kill me if he ever found out I said any of this…" He sighed a bit, glancing back at the captain in the room with him. "Look, I guess my point is just that we all managed ta', well, move on, but Kuchiki-Taichou's still a little behind, an' it seems like things just started smoothin' out when Rukia an' I were placed on the team, an' I'm just afraid that when we leave everythin' we did ta', ya' know, work through it all I guess, will just … fall apart."_

_Jyuushirou allowed himself an extra moment to digest everything before formulating a reply. "I'm glad to hear that the three of you were able to help each other," he began gently, "but I don't see what you think I can do in your place. I'm afraid I'd make a rather poor substitute."_

_Renji almost answered, but then produced a weird, rather disconcerted look aimed at the man across from him and the last words spoken, wondering exactly how much he was supposed to read into the statement. He shook his head to clear it, refocusing on the task he'd set out to accomplish. "I'm not askin' for a replacement, just someone to make sure he's not alone all the time. All I'm askin' is that ya' keep him from closin' up again. I'm sure as hell not runnin' off ta' risk my neck if I'm just gonna come back ta' the same uptight, repressed noble I just spent three weeks calmin' down. You used to be his senpai, right?"_

_Ukitake frowned lightly at the language used to describe his former charge, but only sighed regretfully at the last question. "I'm sorry to disappoint you, Abarai-fukutaichou, but Kuchiki-Taichou and I aren't on the best of terms. You'll have to find someone else-"_

_"There _is _no one else," Renji interrupted, suddenly firm when moments ago he'd been uncertain. "It has to be you."_

_"…Why?" _

_Renji sighed. "Because yer the only one that gives a damn… Sir."_

_----- _

"Oi! Renji! Stop starin' off inta' space, would ya'?"

Pure instinct allowed the red head to dodge the wild swing that followed Ikkaku's yowling. "Watch that thing will ya'!" he snapped, getting into the other man's personal space.

"Che, I _was_ watchin' it… woulda' watched it all the way to yer head if ya' didn't move." Ikkaku shoved him off to the side again with little thought. "Now, ya' got a map or what?"

Renji didn't bother answering, and simply followed Rukia's lead. He glanced up at the sky for a second, mind drifting back to his last view of Sereitei: his captain turning from the assembly, followed shortly by Rukia's captain. He dropped his gaze again, watching Rukia lead the way. She looked cute in the school outfit they'd been given: bright and energetic in the colorful world they'd stepped into. Almost as if she belonged to this strange place were time hadn't stopped and people went about their life, oblivious to the world around them. He sighed and glanced over to the rest of the team as they neared the school.

_Here goes nothing…_

* * *

**1****Carry a Long Pole Through the Gate**  
_A man from Lu tried to enter the City Gate carrying a long pole.  
First, he held the pole upright, but the pole could not pass through the gate.  
Then he held it horizontally; but it still could not pass through. He was stumped.  
By and by an old man came along and said to him, "I am not a Saint; but I have a lot of practical experience. Why not cut the pole in two at the middle?"  
So the man cut the pole in two at the middle.  
- Han Dan Chun, Wei, Three Kingdoms  
It should be noted that this statement is in reference to Byakuya being irrationally upset with the fact that it was Ukitake suggesting to send out people close to Byakuya. Senbonzakura is saying this as a way of showing Byakuya that he's not fooling anyone about the real reasons he's upset._

**2****Mahatma Gandhi**  
_"Fear has its uses, cowardice does not"_

**3****The Sky is Falling**  
_Once there was a man from Qi, who was worried about falling sky and sinking earth.  
A friend, worried about his worrying, came to calm him.  
He said to the man, "The sky is all air, nothing but air. As you inhale and exhale, and breathe air into the sky all day long, there is no need to worry about falling sky."  
The man then asked, "So the sky is just air. Then what about the Sun, the Moon and the stars falling from the sky?"  
He replied, "These are only twinkling objects of air. Even if they fall, they won't hurt you."  
The man continued, "What about sinking earth?"  
He replied, "The earth is made up of solid blocks of earth, which filled up all spaces. There are no empty spaces. If you stamp you feet on the ground all day, the earth will not sink."  
Hearing this, the man is very happy. The friend is very happy.  
-Lie Zi, Han Dynasty_

**4** **The Broken Coda**  
_We should not shed tears  
for that will serve as a defeat of our bodies to our hearts  
It is then nothing more than proof  
for it to be said that our hearts are things  
beyond our ability to control._  
我々は涙を流すべきではない  
それは心に対する肉体の敗北であり  
我々が心というものを  
持て余す存在であるということの  
証明にほかならないからだ  
_- Kubo Tite  
- Translation by chirachira of Live Journal_

**5****Too Many Paths**  
_One of Yang Tzu's neighbours,who lost a sheep, sent all his men out to find it, and asked Yang Tzu's servant to join in the search.  
" What !" exclaimed Yang Tzu. " Do you need all those men to find one sheep ?"  
" There are so many paths it may have taken," the neighbour explained. When his servant returned, Yang Tzu asked him : " Well, did you find the sheep ?"  
He answered that they had not. Then Yang Tzu asked how they had failed to find it.  
" There are too many paths," replied the servant. One path leads to another, and we didn't know which to take, so we hd to come back.  
At that Yang Tzu looked very thoughtful. He was silent for a long time, and did not smile all day.  
His pupils were surprised.  
" A sheep is a trifle," they said, " and this wasn't even yours. Why should you stop talking and smiling ?"  
Yang Tzu did not answer, and his pupils were puzzled.  
One of them, Meng-sun Yang, went out to describe what had happened to Hsin-tu Tzu.  
" When there are too many paths," said Hsin-tu Tzu, " a man cannot find his sheep. When a student has too many interests, he fritters away his time. The source of all knowledge is one, but the branches of learning are many. Only by returning to the primal truth can a man avoid losing his way. You are Yang Tzu's pupil and study from him, yet you seem to have failed completely to understsand him."  
- Unknown_

**6** **A Star And A Stray Dog**  
_I will light a fire on an unreachable fang,  
so that I won't have to see that star,  
so that I won't let it tear at my throat._  
届かぬ牙に　火を灯す  
あの星を見ずに済むように  
この吭を裂いて　しまわぬように  
_- Kubo Tite  
- Translation by chirachira of Live Journal_

**7****Einstein's Theory of General Relativity – Gravitational Time Dilation**  
_"In most circumstances in the universe, time dilation is miniscule, but it can become very significant when space-time is curved by a massive object such as a black hole. For example, an observer far from a black hole would observe time passing extremely slowly for an astronaut falling through the hole's boundary. In fact, the distant observer would never see the hapless victim actually fall in. His or her time, as measured by the observer, would appear to stand still."_

**8** The Broken Coda

**9****Flower on the Precipice**  
_We think the flower on the precipice is beautiful  
because our fear makes our feet stop at its edge  
instead of stepping forward into the sky  
like that flower._  
我々が岩壁の花を美しく思うのは  
我々が岩壁に足を止めてしまうからだ  
悚れ無き　その花のように  
空へと踏み出せずにいるからだ  
_- Kubo Tite  
- Translation by chirachira of Live Journal_

十**Memories in the Rain**  
_If I were the rain  
That binds together the Earth and the sky,  
Whom in all eternity will never mingle…  
Would I be able to bind two hearts together?_  
- Orihime's derivation of the poem in episode 7


	7. Slices of the Moon

**Title:** Slices of the Moon  
**Rating:** MPAA: PG/PG-13, Fiction Rating: T  
**Pairing/Character/s:** Renji, various referenced.  
**Warning/s:** Not many, actually. Spoilers for the Soul Society Arc and current chapters, vaguely.  
**Word Count:** 592  
**Summary:** Renji ponders his sanity.  
**Author's Note:** Why am I _always_ comparing Byakuya to the moon? I just can't help it. Every time you see a moon in my story, just replace the word with "Byakuya". >>; Anyway, I was inspired by the ByaRen LJ community's achievement of 200 members and somehow that relates to be writing this, well, interlude of sorts...

**Slices of the Moon**  
_"There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls."_  
- George Carlin

Renji wondered if he was masochistic, lonely, or just plain weird.

He'd run the thought through his head a few times already, but hadn't come to any sort of conclusion. It occurred to him to ask someone else, but he was fairly certain he neither wanted to discuss it, nor expected any manner of honesty. That is to say, Rukia would call him a fool and gush sarcastically about why he was lonely, Ikkaku would just look at him like he really was as fucked up as he expected Ichigo would answer and Yumichika would make an even more disturbing statement than his current thoughts and make him wish he'd never asked in the first place. Forget Matsumoto and Hitsugaya Taichou, he couldn't even think of asking them to begin with.

Moonlight glinted off his arm, and he looked down at it, scrutinizing the lines of his tattoos. Nothing looked different. It was as if he'd never been attacked in the first place. No scars left over from the numerous gashes that caused his blood to rush out distractingly when he'd needed so very badly for it to stay in. No marks whatsoever that would indicate he'd ever been in any sort of fight, let alone died. He smirked at the irony in that thought and glanced up again, watching the large white moon overhead. It didn't really matter where he was at the moment; to him one part of town was the same as any other. A roguish grin spread across his face as he closed his eyes and basked in the moonlight.

There had been one particularly bad gash on his left arm just below the shoulder. It probably hurt like hell, but he hadn't been able to notice at the time. Between the adrenaline rush and the constant changes in the battle, he'd been lucky to realize he'd been hit. He supposed that was one of his downfalls: not paying enough attention. He'd been told as much, at least. He disagreed, of course, because he did pay attention… just only to the important stuff. So what if he got hit in battle? It was a _fight:_ that was supposed to happen. Why pay attention to things like that when they were gone at the end of the day, anyway?

Of course, that was the problem, wasn't it? Paying too much attention to a detail like that… he was surprised he'd even remembered in the first place. Following that, he'd been surprised by his own thoughts on the subject, which really wasn't supposed to happen. How do you surprise yourself, anyway? Renji shook his head lightly and barked a laugh, opening his eyes to the dark sky once more. Maybe he was a little lonely, he grudgingly admitted to himself. He had a right to be, didn't he? …Maybe a little masochistic too. Who from eleventh _wasn't_? In some way, anyway. Not that it really mattered. Chuckling again, he stuck his hands into the pockets of his pants and, instead of once again wondering at the fashion in the living world, resolved to return to his walk, dropping his gaze back to the dark street.

Maybe he was a little lonely to be remembering all the little cuts, painful slices and large gashes. Maybe he was a little masochistic to be proud of it all. And maybe he was a little strange… but whatever the reason, he found some measure of comfort knowing that he'd yet to find someone who could slice him up as thoroughly as his own captain.


	8. Of Fire And Ice

**Title:** Of Fire And Ice  
**Rating:** MPAA: PG/PG-13, Fiction Rating: T  
**Pairing/Character/s:** Byakuya, Senbonzakura, Ukitake  
**Warning/s:** Vaguely resembles crack.  
**Word Count:** 2,160  
**Summary:** Despite his best efforts to forestall any and all emotions, Byakuya is experiencing loneliness. Senbonzakura does not approve and intervenes in a way only an abstract zanpakutou can.  
**Author's Note:** Okay, I'm getting better... no comparisons to the moon in this story. (So I lied, there's one. Sue me. ) This story focuses mainly on Byakuya and Senbonzakura, but follows my ByaRen series (which I have now titled to "Between the Earth and Sky", btw) and is a companion piece to "Slices of the Moon". Basically, it's another drabble in which I fill in the little gaps corresponding to the storyline I've inserted between Kubo's. That having been said, Renji isn't really in here except for one or two vague references, however it's assumed that there is a relationship between them and, moreover, is as I have described it in my previous stories. If you've read "A Petal's Edge" you'll also understand why Ukitake's in the last scene.

**Of Fire And Ice**  
_"They are never alone that are accompanied with noble thoughts."  
-Sir Philip Sidney_

He should have known when he heard the first soft hooting, but instead chose to ignore the superstitious sound. There was far too much to be done for him to waste time and energy on such fallacies. Still, though, he really should have known better than to simply forget about it. Byakuya sighed lightly and laid his hand on the trunk of a smooth white tree. The landscape bent out over the horizon, an impossible set of tall, dead trees, the same dull white as the bleached grass and pale sky. Amaterasu herself seemed to cast the only color across this land: a deep red hue originating from the cardinal orb hovering at the brink of sundown.

"You are unaware of the reason." The ever calm voice of his zanpakutou drifted out of the nearby trees.

Byakuya traced the path of the apparition as it stepped from the woods and into his line of sight. Sanguine eyes and snow-white tresses. Life and death; fangs and blades and fearsome power as calm as undisturbed water. It was hard to keep focused. "I heard an owl this morning," he answered quietly, yet knew his voice would travel the distance in such still air.

Senbonzakura smirked faintly, and tilted its head to the side. "Are not such things beneath your notice?"

"Your presence would deem it worthy," the noble answered smoothly.

"Men will believe in fate long before taking the blame themselves."

Byakuya frowned, matching the other's gaze firmly. "You seem to be of the mind that my every fault is your concern. I have to wonder how you developed such a notion."

The sword spirit stepped forward, extending a hand to gently brush its master's cheek. "I am your blade in battle. I am your senses when you have none… The power to destroy that which opposes you." Long nails brushed the side of his face as the eidolon dropped its hand and merely stayed as it was, remaining close because it knew how the nearness unsettled its charge. "Yet, you know I am more than a tool of slaughter." Its features hardened slightly as it spoke, the first testament to having emotions Byakuya did not associate with the sword it had ever shown him.

It bothered him to hear the hint of emotion in the words, yet even more that he could not identify what emotion was there. Anger? Disappointment? Frustration? It seemed as hazy as the whole world around him. Byakuya stepped back suddenly, ripping his gaze from the bloodied eyes of his sword to take in the world around him. Red like blood, white like death. Cold as pain, still as the grave. Empty. Completely and utterly lifeless. This was his inner world?

"… What happened, here?"

This wasn't right. This wasn't right at all. There was no moisture in the air. No water, not even ice. Peripherally, he saw Senbonzakura turn as he walked past it. Nothing moved. There was no wind, and it felt like there was no air at all. He frowned again, turning back to his only companion.

Senbonzakura closed its eyes, slipping its hands within the long sleeves of its white kimono. "What bloomed in spring has long since left." Around them, the plants swayed in a sudden yet gentle breeze. Serene shades of green, pink and yellow seemed to bleed life into them as the pale sky turned blue. Sakura blossoms spun about them in a sudden burst of energy. "Spring gave way to rain, which tore the very ground apart with its intensity."

Thunder clapped loudly overhead, drawing Byakuya's attention immediately overhead as the heavens burst forth with torrential fury. The wind kicked up, blasting water, petals and leaves at them. Beside him, his zanpakutou remained unbothered by the sudden and harsh changes in atmosphere. The noble swung around at the noise of falling trees in time to see what had moments ago proudly sprouted beautiful flowers fall crashing to the ground, uprooted by the wind, water and mud billowing around them.

"The rains did not allow for a summer or fall, only heeding the winter's freeze." Despite the howling wind, Senbonzakura's normal tone of voice was somehow hearable.

The wind blasted once more so harshly that Byakuya was forced to momentarily block it from his face. When he lowered his arm, the world was covered in snow and ice. His feet sank partially into the snow covered ground, the now still air biting effortlessly through his skin to his very bones when the fierce zephyrs before could not break his clothes. He shivered involuntarily; turning his gaze back to the realm's other occupant. Senbonzakura had opened its eyes again, but only just slightly. It gazed down, deep red eyes mostly hidden by a curtain of long white hair.

"It is death's mistake to think pain visits but at its whim and loneliness in its wake. When such things are worn as vestments, men forget and the stars that seemed once close are now perceived far. Reality bends no longer by its own will, destined to show only what remains known; the spaces between. We cannot fight the chill of frozen life anymore than we can stop the rain from falling."

As it spoke, frozen chains of black metal slipped up from the ground, crawling across its form like vines before suddenly constricting around the pale being, ripping through the pure white fabric to the alabaster skin beneath. The sword spirit did not react to the harsh action, as it had ignored the rest of the changes around it. It lifted its head and turned to look at the shinigami it was bound to, shocking the man with the light blue tinge to its previously colorless skin. The image struck something inside the noble, making him move closer before the thought had fully processed. Senbonzakura looked… pained. It was not something he normally associated with the sword spirit.

"Stop this." He was close enough now to see the small puffs of breath mist in the cold air, as if the creature before him needed warmth as he should.

"I cannot."

Byakuya blinked without realizing it. It was rare, if ever, that his zanpakutou spoke so plainly. "Enough." He reached out, catching the figure's cold chin in his hand and forced it to look up. "That is enough, Senbonzakura." His zanpakutou couldn't be the spirit before him. It wasn't this solid, this docile, this weak, and this… human. It made its points with clarity of thought, not simple demonstrations.

A familiar smirk worked its way across Senbonzakura's frozen lips, yet seemed rather sardonic. "Understanding true meaning is not also seeing it. I have always been such. This place has always been as you are. You have merely come to see what truly exists."

The noble found himself unable to pull away from the ancient creature before him. It was some magic that Senbonzakura had always held over him. Something that made him unable to turn away or ignore the being so closely entwined with himself. Now, instead of being confronted by a powerful and demanding shade, he beheld another life whose future depended on him alone. Perhaps he had been closer to the truth than even he'd realized when he spoke to Renji of the moon and those who reach for it, for it seemed as though he would forever be a distant existence upon which people placed their aspirations. Was it in his duty, then, to take responsibility for those who reached him?

He pulled Senbonzakura's face closer, scrutinizing it as if some form of answer lay there. To his eyes, the features softened and for a moment he could see Hisana's gentle gaze, hopeful and ever thankful as she gazed up at him from the pristine white pillow her last months were spent laying on. Slowly, the vision melted away, red eyes coming to the forefront, not the color of blood, but of passion. The white hair and skin darkened, one to flame and the other to dark almond. Belatedly, he noticed a change in temperature and looked away to find the new warmth radiating out from him, melting the snow and once more giving life to the previously barren land.

"Grant me the heat of your soul as I grant you the edge of mine."

He looked back, seeing that while neither he nor the sword spirit had moved from their positions, Senbonzakura had changed as well. It looked healthy again; its pristine alabaster skin properly free of all tints, with an unbound form suitably covered in a flawless white kimono which trailed into a mist now collecting around them. Its sanguine gaze was firm once more, yet still held some emotion he could not yet identify. After a long moment, he inclined his head slightly.

The smirk softened to a smile. "I am your conscience when you will not hear. I am your eyes when you will not see. Are you now aware of the reason?"

Byakuya dropped his hand then, pressing his lips together in a way to that showed that while he did know, he was not inclined to speak it out loud. Knowing something and saying it were two entirely separate things.

"Shall I be your voice when you will not speak?" Senbonzakura's voice was softer than usual, though its gaze markedly intense.

"If you do all these things, we are no longer working together. I learned long ago not to view you as a tool, and yet you do nothing but bend to my will." There was a slight frown of disapproval shaping his features. Kuchiki Byakuya was an honorable man; he did not use people.

"In battle, perhaps, because you have proven yourself worthy of such control," the apparition replied. "Yet out of battle I have done nothing to warrant such judgment. If I am your conscience then it is because you trust my understanding. If I am your eyes, it is because you trust my perception… and if I am your voice it is because you cannot trust your own."

"Even then, we are not equal." Byakuya paused a moment, summoning the words he needed with the ability to say them. "I apologize."

Senbonzakura moved closer again. "Regardless of what happens, you never walk alone. Remember this, Kuchiki Byakuya." The sword spirit raised an ethereally cool hand to the side of the noble's face once more, and then leaned forward, pressing their lips together.

-----

" – Kuchiki-Taichou?"

Byakuya closed his eyes for a moment, drawing himself back to reality before opening them once more and turning to face the other captain. "Yes?"

Ukitake frowned slightly. "… Is everything all right?" Aside from the fact that his former charge wasn't one to simply zone out, he could have sworn he felt a subtle but distinct rise in the man's spirit energy for a split second.

"'Everything' is neither your concern nor my own, Ukitake-taichou." The noble pushed away from the railing of the terrace they'd been speaking on,brushing by his fellow captain and returning to the shade of the building they had been outside of. "What does concern me is the nature of the circumstances that required them to release the restrictions on their powers."

Ukitake followed the other captain back inside, withholding any comments as to the other man's sudden, strange behavior: they had just come outside not a minute ago. "Matsumoto-fukutaichou sent the request through. It affected herself, Hitsugaya-taichou and Abarai-fukutaichou, all of whom were able to defeat their opponents."

"Two vice-captains and a captain were only capable of destroying the opposition after receiving full use of their abilities when fighting Aizen's foot soldiers and you are not concerned. Yet, two of lowest ranked officers on the away team survived their encounters without help and you do not question it. Kurosaki Ichigo barely manages to intervene in time to aide Rukia and yet does not win his battle. What's more; we have no idea of where he is, and you have yet to express any issue with this report."

"That will be decided with the rest of the captains–" Ukitake cut himself off when the noble abruptly turned back around to face him.

"You have not informed anyone else?"

"The second division has already submitted the full report, however the captain meeting is a few hours off and I thought you would appreciate knowing the moment the report was in," Ukitake masked the statement with a calm smile, hoping his guess hadn't been too far off.

After long moment of suspicious silence, Byakuya gave a small nod and dropped the subject entirely, choosing instead to resume the short break the other captain had so thoughtfully interrupted. He poured himself a fresh cup of tea and then returned his previous seat, passively indicating the tray to Ukitake: a gesture just barely within the borders of propriety. He received a smile for his effort and the man's company for the remainder of lunch.


End file.
